It happens. Husbands get dumped. In fact, up to 70% of the time, it’s the women who dump the men. So if you have been dumped by your wife and she’s left claiming she’s no longer in love with you, you’ve probably wondered how to make your wife fall in love with you again after separation.
To re-attract your wife back after she’s left:
- Do make it clear you are willing to work on things
- Don’t beg or plead
- Don’t be angry with her
- If she’s willing to talk, listen without getting defensive
- Take 100% ownership of things you did to damage the relationship
- Focus on being the best version of you that you can be
- Do the things you did when she first fell in love with you
- Give her time and space
- Don’t stalk, like, or comment on her social media
But those are only a few of the steps to take!
So below, I’ll get into all 19 of the steps, with specifics. Then I’ll address all the frequently asked questions surrounding the topic including an almost foolproof way of getting them back.
Making your wife fall in love with you again after separation may seem like a daunting task, but it is possible.
With some hard work and dedication, couples can rekindle the spark they once had. It takes time to rebuild trust after such a difficult experience, however, there are small things that married couples can do to help make this process easier.
Quality time together and taking the opportunity for fresh starts will create new memories as a couple. If marital problems persist even with these efforts, professional help could be beneficial too.
So if you’re looking for ways on how to make your wife fall in love with you again after separation then keep reading—we have all of the best tips here.
Rekindling the Spark After Separation – 19 Proven Tips
It can be difficult to rekindle the spark between you and your wife after a separation. But with some hard work and dedication, it is possible to make your wife fall in love with you again. Here are some tips on how to do that:
1. Do make it clear you are willing to work on things
To be clear is to be kind.
So while you want to respect her feelings, it is also important that she is aware you aren’t ready to give up. Make it clear that you are ready, willing, and able to fix whatever problems exist in the marriage if she’s willing to try.
But don’t bombard or pester. Make that clear, and then give her the space if she’s asking for it.
2. Don’t beg or plead
Women don’t care about how much you’re hurting. And they don’t care (in this instance) about how much you love them or how much you want them back.
They care about how YOU make THEM feel.
And begging and pleading and seeming desperate and needy is NOT attractive. It’s not masculine. So unless your traditional roles in the marriage have you in the more feminine role and her in the more masculine role, this will 100% backfire.
Don’t be a dick. And don’t be an emotionless monster. But don’t be needy and clingy. Be strong, confident, decisive, and in control of your emotions (which is not the same as being emotionally distant).
2. Don’t be angry with her
As with the above, a strong, confident man is in control of his emotions.
That doesn’t mean he doesn’t FEEL them. It just means they don’t control his actions. So likewise with begging and pleading, don’t get angry.
Sure, if she cheated on you and left you for the other guy, that would piss off anyone!
But if your goal is to attract her back, getting pissed at her is not the way to do it. Once she agrees to reconcile and hopefully goes to marriage counseling with you, THEN in that setting, it’s appropriate to tell her how her actions made you feel.
But not when you’re trying to win her back.
4. Don’t try and use logic or reason
When a husband is trying to win back his wife after she has left him, logic and reason will not be effective.
This is because men often use logic and reason to solve problems, while women are more likely to be driven by their emotions. Men may think that if they can logically explain why the wife should come back, then she will be convinced.
However, this approach does not take into account the emotional aspect of the situation.
Women are more likely to respond positively when they feel understood and appreciated. If a husband wants to win back his wife, he needs to show her that he understands her feelings and is willing to make changes in order for them to have a better relationship.
He should also express his love for her and apologize for any wrongdoings on his part.
Using logic and reason may work in some situations, but it is not effective when trying to win back a wife who has left her husband. Instead, the husband should focus on understanding her feelings and making her feel heard and understood.
5. If she’s willing to talk, listen without getting defensive
The best way for a husband to win back his wife who left him is to listen without getting defensive and without just waiting for his turn to talk.
This can be a difficult time for a married couple, but it is important to remember that the most important thing is good communication. A lot of men may not realize that women only care about how something makes them feel, and they have an innate need to feel heard and understood.
Listening without getting defensive or waiting for your turn to talk shows your wife that you are listening and trying to understand her feelings. This will help her feel more comfortable talking with you, which is the ultimate goal in this situation.
Good communication is key in any relationship, especially when trying to win back a wife who has left.
Listening without getting defensive or waiting for your turn to talk will help create an environment of understanding and trust, which are essential components of any successful marriage.
6. Take 100% ownership of things you did to damage the relationship
When you are trying to win back your wife who left you, it is important to take 100% ownership of your mistakes without trying to justify them.
Making excuses or trying to justify your mistakes invalidates the apology and makes you look weak. Taking full responsibility for your actions is the first step in winning back your wife’s heart.
That doesn’t mean by any stretch that she doesn’t have some apologizing to do also (more on that next).
But having a difficult conversation with your wife about what went wrong and why it happened is a big deal. It shows her that you are willing to take ownership of the situation and that you are serious about making things right.
Apologizing without making excuses or trying to shift blame will show her that you understand the gravity of the situation and that you are willing to do whatever it takes to make things right.
It may be difficult for you, but taking full responsibility for your mistakes is one of the most important things you can do if you want a second chance with your wife.
7. Accept her apology fully if she offers one
Make no mistake, it takes 2 people to make a relationship, and 2 people to break it.
Now to be sure, sometimes one person does way more bad things than the other. But it’s virtually never the case where a divorce is 100% the fault of one and 0% of the other.
So once you’ve taken 100% ownership of your mistakes, hopefully, she will do the same.
The first thing you should do is accept her apology fully. Holding onto anger and resentment will only derail your attempts to reconcile.
There are different ways to show your wife that you accept her apology and that you are ready to move on from the harsh words that were said in the past. Showing her love and understanding is the next step in rebuilding your troubled marriage.
You can start by telling her how much she means to you and how much you appreciate her for taking the time to apologize.
Let her know that it takes courage to admit when we have done wrong and that it’s important for both of you to forgive each other in order for your relationship to move forward.
Repeating back some of what she said really shows her that you really listened and understood her.
Showing her affection, spending quality time together, and being patient with one another are all great ways of demonstrating your acceptance of her apology.
By accepting your wife’s apology fully, it will show her that you value her love and respect her enough to let go of any anger or resentment toward her. This will be a significant first step in rebuilding the trust between the two of you and restoring your marriage back to its former glory.
8. Focus on being the best version of you that you can be
You have been through a difficult time, and it’s understandable that you are feeling lost and confused.
It’s hard to accept that your wife has left you, but instead of focusing on her, it’s important to focus on yourself. Take this time to focus on healing and becoming the best version of yourself.
Work on your mental health, personal growth, emotional growth, and physical growth.
As time passes, you will become a better man and your wife may come to appreciate the changes you have made in yourself. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, so if you are actively working on improving yourself during this time apart, it will make her love for you even stronger when she returns.
It can be tempting to obsess over trying to get her back or wallowing in pity, but that won’t help either of you in the long run. Instead, focus on making positive changes in your life that will make her proud when she returns.
Show her that you are capable of making positive changes and growing as a person – this will make her love for you even stronger than before.
9. Do the things you did when she first fell in love with you
Think back to when you first met her and what activities and hobbies you used to do that made her attracted to you. It could be anything from going out with your buddies, playing sports, or going to the gym.
After a long time in a romantic relationship, it’s not uncommon for couples to stop doing these activities and hobbies that brought them joy and made them attractive to each other.
So why not start doing those things again?
By getting back into those activities and hobbies that made her fall in love with you in the first place, it will help remind her why she fell for you in the first place and make it easier for her to come back into your life.
So take some time for yourself, enjoy what makes you happy, and show your wife how much she means to you! Now if she isn’t speaking to you or seeing you, how will she see your progress? More on that below!
10. Give her time and space
It’s a good thing to respect your wife’s need for time and space after she has left you.
During this separation period, it is important not to smother her, pester her, or pressure her in any way. Text messages should be kept to a minimum and only used if absolutely necessary; ideally only in response to her.
This will give her the opportunity to heal from the separation without feeling overwhelmed by your presence.
But by giving her the time and space she’s asking for, she will also feel heard, understood, and respected. Remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder and the quickest way to get someone’s attention is to remove yours.
11. Go no contact
It may be a good idea to go no contact in order to win her back.
This is one of the easiest ways to get her attention and make her wonder what you’re up to. By removing yourself from the equation, you can increase the chances of reconciliation and make her feel like she’s missing out on something.
Statistical research has shown that absence makes the heart grow fonder, so if you suddenly stop initiating contact, it will make your wife wonder about you and if you’ve moved on or found someone new. Women are competitive, and don’t like losing.
So even if you aren’t dating during separation if she thinks you might be, that can make you seem more attractive and like a prize to be won over!
This can help reignite her love for you and increase your chances of getting back together.
12. Don’t stalk, like, or comment on her social media
Once you start no contact, you will be tempted!
If you are still connected to her on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, etc, you will be tempted to stalk her. You may also be tempted to like what she posts or comment on it.
Don’t do it!
In fact, I wouldn’t even look at her social media. After all, she could be intentionally putting pictures up trying to make you jealous.
How would you feel seeing pics up of her out with another guy? In an ideal world, you want to act as if she doesn’t exist; at least that’s how you want her to perceive it.
So try and avoid even looking at her social accounts. Don’t block her though. You do want her to look at yours. But if you can unfollow her or hit the “snooze for 30 days” without unfriending her, do it.
But even if you still occasionally look at hers, never like or comment. And don’t view her Instagram stories as your name will show up as having viewed it.
13. If she contacts you, spend quality time together
Quality time together is essential for any relationship, especially when trying to rebuild one.
So once she reaches out after you went no-contact, assume she wants to see you and make specific plans to get together; ideally a date in the evening at your place where you make dinner or have drinks.
If that goes well, try and make it a regular thing.
Make sure you set aside time each week when you both can focus on each other without distractions from family or friends. This could mean going out for dinner or just spending an evening at home watching movies together.
Whatever it is, make sure it’s something special that will help bring the two of you closer together again.
14. Don’t put pressure on her to reconcile or move back in
You should not put any pressure on your wife to move back in or fully reconcile.
Instead, focus on spending quality time together and allowing her attraction and love for you to regrow slowly over time. You need to move slightly slower than she is, as this will give her the space she needs to feel comfortable and safe.
Show her that you are committed to working on things together, but don’t push her too hard or too fast.
Take things one step at a time and be patient with the process. Show her that you are willing to put in the effort and work hard for your relationship. Be understanding of her feelings and be supportive of whatever decisions she makes.
Let her know that you are there for her no matter what and that you will always be there for her when she needs you.
15. Don’t pressure her to label your relationship
Once she warms up and starts spending time with you, you may be thinking great! She’s my wife again and everything is normal. But while you may still be legally married, if you put too much pressure on her too quickly, you will surely push her away.
So legal status aside, act as if you are dating.
Don’t label what you are doing. If she had begun dating others, don’t try and stop that, and don’t ask about it. Simply date her like you did when you first met.
Over time, as her feelings of attraction and love for you grow, she will naturally fall back in love, and she will initiate moving forward, labeling things, moving back in, and resuming your marriage.
16. Focus on rebuilding trust
Rebuilding trust after separation takes time and patience.
Be patient and consistent in your actions, as this will help show that you are serious about rebuilding the relationship.
Show respect for each other’s feelings and opinions, even if they differ from yours. This will demonstrate that you value their thoughts and feelings. Take responsibility for your own mistakes and apologize when necessary; this shows humility on your part and helps to create an atmosphere of understanding between both parties.
It is also important to be honest with one another throughout the process of rebuilding trust.
Openly discuss any issues or concerns that arise so they can be addressed before they become bigger problems down the line. If needed, seek professional help to ensure that both parties have a safe space to express themselves without fear of judgment or criticism from the other person.
17. Be patient and don’t give up
You have been through a difficult time, and it is understandable that you feel lost and confused.
But it is important to remember that you are strong and capable of getting through this. You must be patient and not give up unless your wife gets remarried to someone else. Then, and only then, are your chances of reconciling really over.
It is important to remain calm, centered, and patient in a loving manner.
Do not be needy or clingy, as this will only push her further away. Instead, focus on yourself and your own healing process. Take time for yourself to reflect on the situation and find ways to move forward in a positive way.
Show her that you are still the same person she fell in love with by being kind, understanding, and supportive of her decisions. Be open to communication but also respect her space if she needs it.
Above all else, remember that patience is key in this situation – take things one day at a time and trust that everything will work out in the end.
18. Go to marriage counseling if she’s willing
When it comes to working through marital problems, seeking professional help is often the best course of action.
A trained therapist can provide a safe space for couples to talk openly and honestly about their issues without fear of judgment or criticism. They can also help couples find common ground and compromise when disagreements arise.
It’s important to be open and honest with each other when discussing any issues that may have caused the separation in order to move forward together as a couple.
This means being willing to listen to your partner’s point of view even if you don’t agree with it, and expressing your own feelings without attacking them personally. It also means being willing to negotiate and make compromises in order to reach an agreement that works for both parties.
19. Show appreciation for little things
Showing appreciation for even the smallest things your partner does will go a long way toward rebuilding trust and connection between the two of you. It doesn’t have to be anything big; simply thanking them for doing something like taking out the trash or making dinner can show them that their efforts are appreciated and valued by you.
Making an effort to reconnect with your partner means more than just spending quality time together; it also involves actively engaging in conversations about topics beyond everyday life such as dreams, goals, hopes, and fears. Ask questions about what they want from life now and listen carefully as they answer.
Doing this consistently will help build bridges between the two of you once more over time.
Rekindling the spark in your marriage takes effort and dedication, but it is possible. Now that you’ve taken steps to reconnect, it’s time to focus on working through any issues that may be standing in the way of a successful reconciliation.
Creating New Memories Together as a Couple
Making new memories together as a couple can help reignite the spark between you two after a separation.
Plan date nights or special occasions regularly to give yourselves something to look forward to and enjoy each other’s company without interruptions from family members or friends. This will allow for quality time with your partner, which is essential in rebuilding trust and strengthening your relationship.
Planning regular date nights doesn’t have to be expensive either; it could be as simple as cooking dinner together at home, going for a walk in the park, or even just watching a movie on the couch.
Whatever activity you choose, make sure that it’s something both of you are interested in doing so that neither one of you feels obligated or pressured into participating.
Take time to celebrate small victories together too.
Whether it’s achieving personal goals like finishing school or getting promoted at work, these successes should be celebrated and shared with your partner. Celebrating accomplishments big and small will help create positive memories that will last long after any hard times have passed.
Finally, don’t forget to make the most of this fresh start by focusing on all the positive changes both of you have made since separating and giving each other space when needed so that individual growth isn’t hindered by being overly dependent on one another again too soon.
Understanding What Caused the Separation
You have just gone through a separation with your wife.
It can be a difficult and confusing time, but it is important to understand what caused the separation in the first place. Taking ownership of your role in the situation and learning from it can help you to move forward.
It is important to take some time to reflect on what happened and why it happened.
You may need to look at your own behavior and how it contributed to the separation. It can be difficult to take responsibility for your part, but it is necessary if you want to learn from the experience and make changes for the future.
It is also important to consider how your wife felt during the relationship.
What were her needs that weren’t being met? What did she feel was missing? Understanding her perspective can help you gain insight into what went wrong and how you can address those issues in order to fix them.
Finally, it is important to talk about these issues with your wife if possible. Communication is key when trying to repair a relationship, so having an open dialogue about what went wrong and how you both can work together towards a better future is essential.
Although going through a separation can be painful, understanding what caused it and taking ownership of your role in it can help you learn from the experience and move forward in a positive way.
Taking the time to reflect on what happened, considering your wife’s perspective, and talking openly about any issues are all important steps toward healing after a separation.
Frequently Asked Questions
Do wives ever come back after separating?
Every relationship is unique and has its own set of circumstances that can influence whether or not reconciliation is possible. It’s important to remember that communication and understanding are key components in any successful relationship, so if both parties are willing to work together, then there may be hope for a reunion.
How can I attract my wife back?
It is possible to attract your wife back, but it will take time and effort.
Start by communicating openly and honestly with her about how you both feel. Show her that you are willing to work on the relationship and be patient as she works through her feelings.
Be understanding of any hurt or anger she may have, while also expressing your own needs in a respectful way. Additionally, consider seeking professional help if needed to gain clarity on the situation and learn more effective communication techniques.
How do you restart a relationship after separation?
Restarting a relationship after separation can be difficult, but it is possible.
Start by communicating openly and honestly with your partner about what went wrong in the past and how you both want to move forward. Consider seeking professional help if needed to work through any issues that may have caused the breakup.
Respect each other’s boundaries and take things slowly as you rebuild trust and intimacy.
Be patient with yourself and your partner as you learn how to navigate this new relationship dynamic together. With understanding, respect, patience, communication, and hard work from both parties, it is possible to restart a healthy relationship after separation.
It takes hard work and dedication to rebuild the trust that was broken, as well as a willingness to put in the effort to make new memories together.
If you are willing to take the time and put in the effort, there is a good chance that your wife will start feeling those same feelings of love for you once more. With patience, understanding, and some clear signs of a commitment from both sides, couples can find themselves back on track toward a successful marriage.
So if you’re looking for ways to make your wife fall in love with you again after separation, remember that it’s possible – just don’t give up hope.
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