Is Jealousy Common With Limerence? (and how to deal with it)

In my experience, the high emotions of limerence often bring jealousy. This is especially true for those fighting limerence addiction. Though limerence might not be widely understood, people find comfort knowing others feel the same. We’ll look at how jealousy appears in limerence and relationships.

Dr. Dorothy Tennov’s research shines a light on jealousy in limerence. She shows it’s a big part of the experience. It comes from the strong feelings and the focus on one person that limerence brings. and the Journal of Personal Relationships explain further. They offer insights that seem familiar if you’ve seen jealousy in others or yourself.

Key Takeaways

  • Jealousy is a frequent companion of limerence.
  • Dr. Dorothy Tennov’s research sheds light on the connection between limerence and jealousy.
  • Psychology Today highlights how jealousy amplifies with limerence addiction.
  • Personal stories and studies confirm the intensity of jealousy in limerent relationships.
  • Understanding these emotions is the first step towards managing them effectively.

Understanding Limerence and Its Definition

Limerence is more than just a crush. Psychologist Dr. Dorothy Tennov came up with the term. It’s about being really obsessed with someone. You want them to love you back badly. This feeling can make you kind of lose yourself in the ideal of that person.

What is Limerence?

The limerence definition involves deep, obsessive feelings towards someone. It makes you yearn for them to feel the same way. This isn’t just a little crush. It’s an intense, focused kind of infatuation. It can mess with your emotions in a big way.

Limerence vs Love: Key Differences

Understanding limerence vs love is key. Love grows from friendship and shared moments. Limerence is more about intense, almost addictive feelings. It’s not stable like love. Love is strong and steady. Limerence is like a sudden storm of emotions.

Aspect Limerence Love
Primary Emotion Obsession Affection
Duration Short-Term Long-Term
Basis Romanticized Ideal Reality-Based
Focus On Limerent Object On Partnership

Limerence obsession can make you feel overwhelmed. It’s quite the opposite of steady, mature love. Recognizing the difference helps us understand love better. It also gives insight into our own feelings and others’. Love is a journey that grows over time. Limerence is like a sudden spark that makes you feel obsessed.

The Emotional Rollercoaster: Limerence Stages

Feels like a rollercoaster? That’s limerence for you. It takes you through different stages, each bringing strong feelings.

Initial Infatuation

It all starts with a powerful infatuation. The limerent object becomes all we can think about, leading to intense attraction. This phase may seem a bit too much, but it’s the beginning of deeper emotional waves.

limerence stages

Obsessive Thoughts

The infatuation moves to obsessive thoughts. These thoughts often become intrusive and are hard to shake off. People start to crave attention from the limerent object, and if it’s not fulfilled, it can lead to a lot of stress.

Here’s a closer look at the characteristics of the initial infatuation and obsessive thoughts stages in limerence:

Stage Characteristics
Initial Infatuation Sudden attraction, euphoria, idealization
Obsessive Thoughts Intrusive thoughts, need for reciprocation, potential limerence addiction

Knowing these stages can help us understand our emotions better. It’s a first step in dealing with the challenges of limerence.

Is Jealousy Common With Limerence?

The dynamics of jealousy in limerence show it’s a strong emotion. It often emerges in those feeling limerence addiction. In limerence, people feel extreme emotions, making jealousy very intense. Even small acts by the person they’re obsessed with can cause big emotional reactions. This jealousy mixes obsession, feeling not secure, and being extra sensitive to any threats in the relationship.

Case studies in relationship counseling give clear evidence. They show jealousy is a common sign of limerence. People deep in limerence might act out of an irrational fear of losing the person they are obsessed with or seeing them with someone else. This jealousy isn’t just part of a phase but sticks around, affecting how they feel and think all the time.

Chats and stories from online groups stress how widespread this jealousy is among those with limerence addiction. They talk about fears of cheating but also worry about the person they love not meeting their emotional needs, not focusing on them, or loving them back. These talks offer comfort to those facing this intense jealousy. They see they’re not the only ones dealing with these hard feelings.

To see how jealousy can affect limerence versus regular romantic jealousy, let’s compare:

Aspect Jealousy in Limerence Typical Romantic Jealousy
Intensity High, often overwhelming Moderate to high
Triggers Minor actions or changes in behavior Potential infidelity or notable changes
Emotional Impact Persistent obsession and insecurity Intermittent anxiety and anger
Resolution Challenging, requires intense self-awareness Can be resolved through communication

Understanding limerence and relationships can help us manage jealousy better. By noting the features of jealousy unique to limerence, we can deal with it more wisely. This leads to better relationships and personal growth.

Causes of Jealousy in Limerence

Jealousy in limerence is all-consuming. It comes from deep within us. It hooks into obsessive thoughts about someone we love. By looking at these roots, we understand why limerence makes us so jealous.

jealousy in limerence

Attachment and Insecurity

John Bowlby taught us that how we bond early affects our later relationships. In limerence, this is big. Those who felt unsure in early relationships might fear losing the one they love. This fear makes jealousy leap. So, our past connections lead to deep-seated jealousy in limerence.

The Role of the Limerent Object

Our intense love for another person can spark jealousy. This person is the limerent object. They’re everything to us. If we sense a threat to this special bond, we may feel massively jealous. The way we cling to our limerent object makes us sweat the small stuff. We worry they may not love us back. So, the limerent object is key in how jealousy shows up in limerence.

Ways to Cope with Jealousy in Limerence

Jealousy in limerence is tough, but you can control it. Self-awareness and mindfulness are key. Also, work on your personal relationships.

Self-Awareness and Mindfulness

Understanding and controlling jealousy starts with knowing yourself and being present. Mindfulness makes you aware of your feelings. This lets you tackle the causes of jealousy.

You can do this through meditation, writing in a journal, and focusing on your breath. These activities help you live in the moment. They lessen the hold of jealousy. A study in the Journal of Clinical Psychology found that being mindful cuts down on jealousy. It also helps you manage your emotions better.

Strengthening Personal Relationships

Building strong relationships outside of your limerent crush is crucial. Spend more time with family, friends, and coworkers. They can be your support system against jealousy.

This is achieved through talking openly and deeply, listening with empathy, and sharing good moments with those close to you.

Here are some practical tips to deal with jealousy in limerence:

Strategy Benefits
Mindfulness Meditation Reduces anxiety, improves emotional awareness
Journaling Helps identify and process emotions
Open Communication Enhances trust and understanding in relationships
Quality Time with Loved Ones Strengthens emotional bonds and reduces isolation

Following these tactics will better your control over jealousy in limerence. You’ll have more stable emotions and stronger personal bonds.


We’ve looked at limerence and its intense feelings, especially jealousy. We’ve learned what limerence is and how it’s different from love. This helps us understand the confusion many face with these strong emotions.

Limerence can turn into an emotional rollercoaster. Its stages can make jealousy worse. We’ve explored why jealousy happens in limerence. This includes looking at how we attach to someone and their part in it.

Dealing with jealousy in limerence needs a few steps. You should try to be more aware of yourself, be mindful, and work on your relationships. These steps help you feel better and in control. But remember, handling jealousy takes time, and getting help is okay.

In ending, self-awareness and community help are key. Things like therapy and support groups can really help. Knowing about limerence’s complexity lets us handle our emotions better. This can lead to better, stronger relationships in the future.

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