What to Ask for in Your Divorce Settlement (Crucial Tips)

Divorce is a life-changing event, and the divorce settlement process can be complex. It’s about more than just splitting assets; it’s about setting the stage for your new life. So here’s what to ask for in your divorce settlement:

What to Ask for in Your Divorce Settlement

  1. Division of Assets: Ensure equitable distribution of marital property and financial assets.
  2. Child Custody and Support: Specify custody arrangements and financial support for children.
  3. Alimony: Determine spousal support payments.
  4. Debt Responsibility: Clarify the division of any shared debts.
  5. Retirement Accounts: Address the division of retirement funds and pensions.

This guide aims to demystify what you should request in a fair divorce settlement.

From property division and deciding the fate of the marital home, to child support and custody issues, it’s important to approach each aspect thoughtfully. We’ll touch on alimony, retirement accounts, insurance policies, and even the role of debts. Plus, we’ll discuss how to reveal hidden assets, the enforcement of prenuptial agreements, and the crucial task of protecting your business.

So, if you’re navigating the choppy waters of divorce, read on for some much-needed guidance.

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husband and wife looking tense with a lot of used tissues

Navigating Property Division in Divorce

Property division in divorce can be tricky. It’s not just about splitting things down the middle. Each state has its own rules about how to divide property. Some states use “community property” rules, while others use “equitable distribution.”

In community property states, most things acquired during the marriage are split 50/50. But in equitable distribution states, the court tries to divide things fairly, which might not be equal.

It’s important to know what counts as marital property. This usually includes things bought during the marriage, even if only one person’s name is on it. Separate property, like gifts or inheritances, usually stays with the original owner.

Some things are harder to divide, like houses or businesses. You might need to sell them and split the money, or one person might buy out the other’s share.

Debts are also divided in divorce. Just like assets, debts acquired during the marriage are usually shared.

It’s a good idea to make a list of all your assets and debts before starting negotiations. This helps ensure nothing is forgotten. Sometimes, couples can agree on how to divide things without going to court. If not, a judge will decide for them.

Remember, it’s okay to ask for help. Lawyers or mediators can guide you through this process.

The Marital Home: Should You Keep or Sell?

The Marital Home: Should You Keep or Sell?

The marital home is often a big issue in divorce. You might want to keep it for stability, especially if you have kids. But it’s not always the best choice.

Keeping the house means you’ll be responsible for the mortgage, taxes, and upkeep. Can you afford that on your own? If not, selling might be smarter.

Selling lets you split the money and start fresh. It can be easier emotionally too. You won’t have to live with memories of your marriage.

If you do keep the house, make sure you get your ex’s name off the mortgage. This protects you if they stop paying their share.

Remember, a house is just a building. Your home is where you make it.

a couple in divorce court talking to a judge with a teddy bear in the foreground

Settling Child Custody & Support Issues

Child custody and support are big parts of divorce when kids are involved. There are two types of custody: legal and physical. Legal custody means making big decisions about your child’s life. Physical custody is about where the child lives.

You can have joint custody, where both parents share, or sole custody, where one parent has most of the responsibility. Many families choose joint custody to keep both parents involved.

A custody schedule helps everyone know when the child is with each parent. This can include weekdays, weekends, holidays, and vacations.

Child support is money one parent pays to the other for the child’s needs. The amount depends on things like income, custody time, and the child’s needs.

It’s important to be flexible with custody and support. As kids grow, their needs change. You might need to adjust your arrangements.

Try to work together with your ex for your kids’ sake. If you can’t agree, the court will decide for you.

Remember, custody and support are about what’s best for the kids, not winning against your ex. Keep your children’s needs first.

Don’t forget about things like health insurance and college savings when discussing support. These are important for your child’s future.

How to Address Education Expenses for Children

Addressing your children’s education costs is a critical part of divorce settlement negotiations.

It’s a conversation that should revolve around who will bear the burden of tuition fees, school supplies, extra-curricular activities, and future educational needs like college. It may be beneficial to consider the establishment of an educational fund to assure continued financial support. Here are some specific steps:

  1. Detail Education Costs: List out current and projected expenses including tuition, books, uniforms, and extra-curricular activities.
  2. Establish a Savings Account: Create a dedicated account for education expenses and contribute regularly.
  3. Decide on Contribution Amounts: Determine the contribution of each parent based on financial ability.
  4. Factor in Future Costs: Consider future costs such as college tuition or vocational training.
  5. Agree on Decision-making Power: Decide who will make decisions regarding the child’s education.
  6. Put the Agreement in Writing: Include all details in your divorce settlement agreement to avoid future disputes.

Remember, a “fair divorce settlement” is not just about you, but also about securing your children’s future.

a husband handing his wife a large amount of cash while both look solem

The Role of Money and Debts in Divorce Settlements

Delving into the financial facets of divorce, it’s essential to consider monetary assets and debts.

Understanding these aspects can help you determine what to ask for in a divorce settlement. Crucially, a fair divorce settlement should aim to equitably distribute both assets and liabilities.

This includes everything from marital property and retirement accounts to joint loans and credit card debts. It’s wise to seek professional advice to accurately value assets and ensure an equitable split.

A family law attorney can be of invaluable assistance in these matters. Navigating this process can be complex, but remember we have a wealth of knowledge on divorce and kids that can support you during this challenging time.

Alimony: What to Expect and Ask for

Alimony is money one ex-spouse pays to the other after divorce. It’s meant to help the lower-earning spouse maintain their lifestyle. Not every divorce includes alimony, though.

Courts look at many things when deciding on alimony. They consider how long you were married, your ages, and your health. They also look at your incomes and future earning potential.

There are different types of alimony. Some last for a short time to help you get back on your feet. Others might last longer, especially after a long marriage.

The amount of alimony can vary a lot. It depends on your situation and what the court thinks is fair. Sometimes, couples agree on alimony without going to court.

When asking for alimony, be realistic about your needs and budget. Think about your expenses and how long you might need support. It’s a good idea to have financial records ready to show why you need alimony.

Remember, alimony isn’t forever. It usually ends if the person getting it remarries. It can also change if either person’s situation changes a lot.

If you’re paying alimony, it might be tax-deductible. If you’re receiving it, you might have to pay taxes on it. Check with a tax pro to be sure.

How Retirement and Investment Accounts Get Divided in a Divorce

Shedding light on the division of retirement and investment accounts during divorce, it’s crucial to understand these accounts represent a considerable portion of marital assets.

Thus, they’re typically subject to equitable distribution. What you ask for in a divorce settlement should include an assessment of these accounts’ value, bearing in mind potential tax implications and penalties for early withdrawal.

A qualified domestic relations order (QDRO) is often used to divide retirement accounts, ensuring each party receives their fair share without incurring tax penalties. It’s advisable to engage a financial expert to guide you through this process, given its complex nature.

In contrast, investment accounts are generally easier to handle. They can be divided based on the account balance at the time of separation, but remember to consider any capital gains tax.

For a deeper exploration of financial matters during divorce, you might find our Money and Relationships articles insightful.

Insurance Policies: Life and Health Considerations

Insurance is a big deal in divorce. You need to think about both life and health insurance.

For life insurance, you might ask your ex to keep a policy with you or the kids as beneficiaries. This protects you if they die and can’t pay support anymore.

Health insurance is tricky. If you’re on your ex’s plan, you’ll need to find new coverage. You might be able to stay on their plan for a while through COBRA, but it’s often expensive.

Don’t forget about the kids’ insurance. Decide who will cover them and how you’ll split any costs. It’s smart to talk to an insurance agent. They can help you figure out what you need after divorce.

A conference room in a law office, with a long wooden table and leather chairs. A couple sits opposite their respective lawyers, discussing terms of t

Validity and Enforcement of Prenuptial Agreements

Prenuptial agreements aren’t always upheld in court. They can be challenged for different reasons. If one person was forced to sign, the agreement might not be valid.

Courts also look at whether the agreement is fair. If it leaves one person with nothing, a judge might not enforce it. The same goes if someone hid assets when making the agreement.

Timing matters too. If the agreement was signed right before the wedding, it might seem unfair. Both people need time to think it over and get legal advice.

Sometimes, parts of a prenup are upheld while others aren’t. It depends on what the judge thinks is right. Remember, laws about prenups can be different in each state.

Protecting Your Business or Professional Practice

Keeping your commercial interests secure in situations of marital discord is crucial.

This includes your business or professional practice. It’s advisable to legally separate your business, set up a buy-sell agreement with partners, and craft a postnuptial agreement. Doing so helps safeguard your business from potential divorce impacts. It’s a complex process that involves strategic planning and legal expertise.

So, engage a seasoned divorce attorney to guide you.

They can help you navigate through the divorce process, ensuring your business interests remain unaffected. Remember, protecting your business or professional practice is not an afterthought, but a vital step when contemplating what to ask for in a divorce settlement.

Understanding Tax Implications of Divorce Settlements

Grasping the tax obligations tied to divorce settlements is an essential step in the negotiation process.

When determining what to ask for in a divorce settlement, it’s important to consider the tax implications of various aspects. For instance, alimony payments can influence your tax returns – they’re usually tax-deductible for the payer and taxable income for the recipient. Additionally, property transfers can impact capital gains tax, while mishandling retirement account divisions might trigger penalties.

Here are a few critical tax-related factors to consider:

  1. The taxability of alimony payments.
  2. Capital gains tax related to property transfers.
  3. Possible penalties from improper handling of retirement accounts.
  4. Tax implications of dividing investment accounts.
  5. The tax treatment of child support payments.

Keep these points in mind to avoid potential tax pitfalls and ensure a fair settlement.

couple in divorce court with their backs to each other looking sad

Maintaining Amicability During Divorce Settlement Negotiations

Maintaining amicability during divorce settlement negotiations is crucial. Start by keeping communication open and respectful. Avoid blaming or accusing each other. Focus on finding solutions that work for both of you.

It’s important to be honest about your needs and listen to your partner’s needs too. Compromise is key. Be willing to give a little to get a little. This will help both of you feel heard and valued.

Stay calm during discussions. If things get heated, take a break and return to the conversation later. Keeping emotions in check can prevent arguments and help you stay focused on the settlement.

Consider involving a mediator. A neutral third party can help guide discussions and ensure they stay productive. Mediators can also offer suggestions that you might not have considered.

Be clear about your goals. Know what you want out of the settlement and prioritize your requests. This can help keep negotiations on track and prevent unnecessary conflicts.

Finally, take care of yourself. Divorce is stressful, and it’s important to stay healthy and balanced. Exercise, eat well, and seek support from friends or a therapist if needed.

By following these steps, you can maintain amicability during divorce settlement negotiations and work towards a fair and reasonable agreement.

Questions You Should Ask Your Divorce Attorney

  1. What is your experience with divorce cases? Understanding your attorney’s background helps gauge their expertise and suitability for your case.
  2. What is your approach to divorce cases? Some attorneys favor mediation, while others are more litigation-focused. Knowing their approach helps align expectations.
  3. What are the potential outcomes of my case? Ask for an honest assessment of best and worst-case scenarios to understand the possible results.
  4. How will we communicate? Clarify the preferred methods and frequency of communication to stay informed about your case’s progress.
  5. What are your fees and billing practices? Understand the cost structure, including hourly rates, retainer fees, and additional expenses.
  6. How long will the divorce process take? While exact timing is uncertain, a general timeline helps set realistic expectations.
  7. What information do you need from me? Knowing the required documents and details ensures you are prepared and can expedite the process.
  8. What should I avoid doing during the divorce? Advice on actions to avoid can prevent mistakes that might negatively impact your case.
  9. Can we negotiate a settlement? Explore the possibility of settling out of court to save time, money, and stress.
  10. What are the next steps? Understanding the immediate actions helps you stay organized and proactive in your case.


Divorce is undeniably a challenging journey that requires careful preparation and thoughtful decision-making. Understanding what to ask for in your divorce settlement is crucial to ensure a fair and balanced outcome, whether it’s dealing with property division, child custody, or alimony.

It’s also imperative to consider the tax implications of the settlement, as well as protecting your interests such as your business or professional practice.

Moreover, while navigating this arduous process, maintaining amicability might seem like a tall order.

Yet, it’s essential, especially when children are involved. Open communication, compromise and mediation can pave the way for constructive discussions and a mutually agreeable settlement. Ultimately, remember to seek professional help from a competent attorney to guide you through this process, addressing all aspects of the divorce settlement and strategizing for the best possible outcome.

Want a FREE Divorce Checklist for Women?

Just CLICK HERE to get it now right here on my site.


  1. What kind of property is divided during a divorce? During a divorce, both marital and separate property is divided. Marital property includes assets acquired during the marriage such as real estate, investments, and retirement accounts. Separate property consists of assets owned before the marriage or those acquired through inheritance or gifts.
  2. How do we decide what happens to the marital home in a divorce? The fate of the marital home can be decided in several ways. You can sell the home and split the proceeds, one spouse can buy out the other’s interest, or it can be co-owned post-divorce. Remember to consider financial implications and emotional attachments when making this decision.
  3. What should be considered when settling child custody and support issues? Creating a parenting plan that serves the best interests of the children is vital. This includes determining custody arrangements, visitation rights, child support obligations, and contributions to education, medical care, and extracurricular activities. A parenting schedule that outlines responsibilities and time spent with the children should also be established.
  4. Who will pay for the children’s education expenses after the divorce? This is something that should be discussed and decided during the divorce proceedings. It’s important to determine who will be responsible for tuition fees, school supplies, extracurricular activities, and future educational needs such as college. A good idea might be to set up an educational fund to ensure ongoing financial support.
  5. How are retirement and investment accounts divided in a divorce? Retirement and investment accounts are often significant assets in a divorce and should be fairly distributed. Consider the value of shared accounts and any marital debt tied to them, and don’t hesitate to hire a financial expert if necessary to navigate complex asset division.

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