Does Ignoring Women Make You More Attractive?

Written by Jeff Campbell in Dating,Reconciliation Last Updated December 29, 2023

Sometimes guys have a tendency to over-pursue women. So, if you have reached that dead end with the girl you like or gotten dumped and want her back, you may be wondering, does ignoring women make you more attractive?

Ignoring women can increase their romantic interest if there is a high enough level of attraction to begin with. So allow the woman to do at least 80% of the initiating of contact but do reply to any messages she sends. But if you have been dumped, do not initiate any contact for at least 40 days.

And if you’ve been dumped, no liking or commenting on social media either. That makes you seem weak and desperate.

Many guys end up talking women right out of liking them.

They put in much effort, texting or calling, and she’s not reciprocating. Then they start to wonder if the old tactic of ignoring her or going “no contact” will get her to notice them and find them more attractive.

While each situation is unique, there is some truth to those common phrases.

It’s human nature to want what you can’t have or something that doesn’t want you. You can use this to your advantage and grab her attention, but only if you do it correctly.

Keep reading to find out how to ignore a woman the right way and be more attractive.

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Why does ignoring a girl work?

Essentially, as Coach Corey Wayne says, “the quickest way to get someone’s attention is to remove yours”.

If you used to text or call too much and suddenly stop or pull way back, she will naturally wonder why. She may even think you’ve found someone new, and it will pique her interest.

Many people long ago believed that if you treat a girl like crap, she’d come begging for your attention and chase after you. But I don’t want you to treat anyone like crap.

Playing “hard to get” used to be all the rage back then and that ideology, although flawed, had an important lesson to be learned. It’s hinged on a simple psychological fact – humans crave what they cannot immediately get.

Depending on your situation and the person in question, it may or may not work.

Ignoring a girl as a dating strategy only works if she likes you. Acting aloof when you first meet a girl or are getting to know her can be a turn-off for many reasons.

Thanks to the modern dating culture, women are more likely to move on if they don’t put in the effort.

If you have been trying to stay in contact but find her unresponsive, ignoring her may get her to look in your direction if she already likes you.

By ignoring her, you make her understand that you’re not easily won over and that she needs to put in the effort and reciprocate your interest.

If you’re not in the right situation for this, you may accomplish nothing useful except annoying her and making her stay away even more.

This could go sideways, but it works in many cases and for many people. People like to feel loved, and they enjoy feeling like they’re part of something.

By excluding the person whose attention you’ve been trying to get, your sudden withdrawal of attention will make her realize what she had at first.

She will begin to miss you, and her ego may even be hurt as she realizes that you’ve chosen to stay away until she can reciprocate your effort.

It’s simple psychology.

Is ignoring a girl manipulative?

In many ways, ignoring a girl to get her to like you can come off as manipulative.

This is only if you don’t do it right and have bad intentions behind your actions. If you hope to get a girl’s attention because you like her, you’ll need to evaluate your intentions first to avoid playing cruel mind games.

If a girl seems to like you but is flaky or inconsistent despite your efforts, ignoring her by giving her some space may be a great idea. 

If you’re doing it to cause a feeling of fear in her or to blackmail her into chasing after you emotionally, then it is manipulative.

Ignoring a girl can come from a place of self-preservation where you want to know if she sees your worth and values your presence.

Instead of approaching this phase with the malicious intent of making her unhappy, do so to let her see that you know your worth.

When you show that you know your worth and choose to reserve your energy for those who reciprocate, she will respect that and find it attractive.

But don’t just sit around the house not texting her, hoping she reaches out; that’s pathetic.

Get busy! Get some hobbies. Spend time with friends. Live your life to the fullest! And if you’re not in a committed relationship, you should be dating other women too.

If you live your life like that, not only will you be happier and more fulfilled, but if she doesn’t reach out, you won’t care as much as you’ll have already realized there are plenty more fish in the sea.

And that indifference can also make you seem more attractive.

Should I ignore her if she ignores me?

If a girl you’re in a relationship with starts ignoring you suddenly, then your first line of action should not be to ignore her.

Miscommunication is often one of the biggest killers of relationships. You’d be doing yourself a great disservice if you didn’t try to find out why she’s ignoring you first. Dialogue is important, so you should first approach her and ask why she has suddenly decided to ignore you.

But don’t sound needy or desperate.

You may have said something that hurt her feelings. Women aren’t direct communicators. And they don’t usually like hurting our feelings. The end result can often be that we have to pry the info out of them.

And sometimes, that takes time, playfulness, and persistence on your part to really get to the root of her issue with you.

Now sometimes, she really does want space.

But more often, she just would prefer to avoid confrontation. So she bottles it up but acts passive-aggressive around you.

Stay in control of the situation by staying out of the way and giving her the space she wants but remain classy about it.

I don’t recommend ignoring someone on purpose, but if you have no choice, then you might as well give it a shot. Rejection may cause her to reflect on how much your presence meant to her, and by ignoring her or withdrawing, she’ll start missing you.

How to ignore her correctly:

  • Speak to her and find out why she’s ignoring you
  • If that doesn’t work, tell her you’ll be stepping away until she’s ready to share
  • Cease all communication
  • Focus on yourself
  • Keep your end goal in mind (Is it to remind her of your value? To give her a taste of her own medicine? Or to show her you respect yourself and you’re not desperate?)

Also, make sure you know the difference between giving her space and later returning to the conversation and just outright stonewalling you and giving you the silent treatment. That’s a form of emotional abuse and manipulation you should not tolerate.

But if you’re talking about a casual dating situation, then DO match and mirror her behavior.

If she takes an hour to respond to your texts, you do the same. If she stops responding altogether, then never call or text her for any reason. Simply wait to hear from her.

And if you do, simply make a date and end the call. Avoid asking why she had previously blown you off; you’ll sound needy and butt-hurt; unattractive qualities. And if she asks why you hadn’t texted recently, simply state you’ve been busy but would love to see her.

Most likely, you had been over-pursuing her, and her attraction level was dropping.

So pulling back does not mean that you have to do so in a manipulative or malicious way – going out of your way to exclude her, making snide comments, or becoming rude.

What do you do when a girl starts pulling away?

It can be disappointing to feel a girl pulling away, but you don’t know why.

Each person is different and, of course, their reasons will vary. The most common reasons a girl may pull away include:

  • Fear of intimacy
  • Insecurity or anxiety
  • She thinks you’re too clingy
  • She might be getting closer to someone else

No matter what the reason is, it’s important to talk first.

Ask if something is wrong and try to find common ground where you can both sort things out. If something is wrong, she may tell you, and you’ll be able to work things out.

But never fight to keep someone in your life who isn’t fighting to keep you in theirs.

So if trying to get her to talk yields no positive response, then this is the time for you to step back and focus on yourself.

Focus on becoming a better version of yourself outside your relationship with her.

If interested, she will come back and try to work things out. One thing you should avoid doing, though, is trying to forget her or make her jealous by getting a rebound relationship.

In this recent article, I discuss how long the honeymoon phase of a rebound relationship lasts and how disappointing it can be when it all fades.

Does the no contact rule work to get an ex back?

Going “no contact” with your ex can get them to start to wonder about you, pique their interest, and increase their attraction level. This is especially true if previously you had been too needy and clingy.

But it can go one of two ways:

  1. She realizes that she misses you and would rather get back together to fix things
  2. She doesn’t come back out of sight, out of mind.

If you’re trying to get your ex back, it’s in your best interest to examine the dynamic you now have with her. Going “no contact” with someone that doesn’t care about you won’t yield anything good.

Is there still anything left between you two?

Are there remnant romantic feelings that could come back to life with the right approach? If there are, the no-contact rule may work to get your ex back.

While it’s important to communicate that you’re still interested in making things work, avoid nagging, begging, or pleading, as that might put her off more. Set your sights on developing yourself, being happy and healthy, and living your best life.

By going “no contact” and becoming a better person, she’ll miss what you had and return to you to rekindle the relationship.

Sometimes, going no contact and working on yourself may encourage her to look past whatever ‌broke you apart.

Becoming a better person may encourage her to give you another chance. Many try to get over their ex by jumping right into another relationship. This doesn’t always end well, so you might want to avoid going down this path.

If you and your wife have divorced, the first relationship after can be rocky.

But does that first relationship always end? Are there strategies to make it last? What are the red flags to look out for? I explain all this in a recent article.

Just click that link to read it on my site.

Does Ignoring Women Make You More Attractive?

Conclusion

Relationships can be tricky, and often, it takes patience, understanding, and open-mindedness to make them work.

If done correctly, Ignoring a woman can help her recognize how valuable you are to her. She might realize that you value and respect yourself enough to step away when she’s not matching your energy. When done right, ignoring a woman can make her find you more attractive.

We often prefer to get back together with our ex and try fixing things.

Check out this recent article for valuable tips on how to win your wife back after she leaves you. There’s a right way and a wrong way to go about reconciliation, and if you do this one thing, she’s almost guaranteed to come back.

Just click that link to read it on my site.

Photo by Dhemer Gonçalves : https://www.pexels.com/photo/ethnic-man-touching-face-on-lawn-in-daytime-7521622/ and Image by Pexels from Pixabay

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