Divorce is a highly-emotional process that can often be socially, mentally, financially, and romantically challenging to navigate. But men and women each have a different way of moving on. But do women move on faster than men after a divorce?
As a general rule, women move on faster than men after a divorce because of religious or social pressure, potential financial security, stability for any children, and the simple desire for companionship. But also most women wait to leave until their feelings of love have completely dissipated.
And by that I mean, they don’t leave until they are completely out of love. That’s why it’s so common for women to simply announce they are done (out of the blue) and not be willing to try and fix things.
That was certainly the situation I found myself in. It sucks and it’s selfish, but that’s the reality many guys who got dumped face.
However, every situation is entirely unique.
In the following sections, I’ll dive deeper into this topic in hopes of helping you better understand the emotional, financial, and social turmoil women often go through after divorce. These factors all determine how a woman moves on (if she decides to move on at all).
5 Reasons Why Women Move On Faster Than Men
In addition to biology, are there any other reasons why women might move on faster than men?
Here are 5 reasons why women move on faster than men after divorce:
- Rebound relationships are a coping mechanism and can actually be healthy.
- Financial security is appealing after divorce.
- Religious or social pressure can make a woman feel obligated to move on.
- Women often want stability for any children involved.
- Most women simply want companionship, as divorce can be lonely.
Let’s discuss each of these reasons in further detail.
1. Rebound Relationships Are a Coping Mechanism
A rebound relationship is essentially a relationship that forms before the breakup’s assumed emotional trauma is addressed.
While these relationships can be seen negatively by onlookers, they’re commonly used as a coping mechanism after a long-term relationship (like a marriage) comes to an end. While some people may judge them as unhealthy, in reality, the opposite might be true.
Studies show that the speed at which a new relationship is formed (after one comes to an end) directly correlates with healthy self-confidence and resolution of previous emotional pain.
Overall, this research concludes that a person who enters a rebound relationship is often in a healthier psychological state because they have a newfound confidence in themselves and their ability to have a relationship– confidence which is often lost after divorce.
While a woman who starts a rebound relationship may not be 100% healed, these quickly-discovered partnerships might actually be beneficial because they serve as a coping mechanism that helps a person regain self-esteem. They may also signify that a person desires to move on rather than dwell in the past.
However, rebound relationships in men are different.
The same studies suggest that men use them as a distraction from the emotional wounds that can grow after a marriage ends. On the contrary, women who enter rebound relationships may do so out of confidence, a willingness to move on and find new companionship and to further address the pain they feel.
2. Financial Security Is Appealing After Divorce
Financial security is another reason why new relationships seem appealing after such a life-altering situation.
While every situation is different, statistics show that women are more likely to suffer financially after a divorce. Studies claim that 69% of men make more than their female counterparts in married relationships, and other research shows that women lose 41% of their regular income stream after divorce.
In addition to these statistics, women tend to have more responsibilities and expenses when they get the lion’s share of their custody arrangements.
Relying on an ex-husband for alimony or child support can often cause a woman to feel less valued by society, and sometimes, it isn’t enough to live off of. It can also be challenging for a woman to pay off legal fees after a divorce if the man was the primary breadwinner in their relationship.
Essentially, divorce can cause a lot of financial instability for women– more so than men. This is another reason why women may be eager to move on after a divorce.
Now, I’m not saying that women in financial distress move on solely for the purpose of remarrying and relying on another man’s money, which would still be a valid personal choice.
However, the concept of remarriage might be appealing to a woman if she subconsciously desires financial stability. Simply having a partner to stand by your side promotes financial security because you have someone to talk through your problems with, even if that person can’t support you financially.
Not to mention that some of life’s biggest expenses (rent/mortgage, car payments, electric bills, etc.) will be split in half after entering a legal partnership.
It’s much easier to go through economical hardships when you don’t feel so alone.
Even if a woman doesn’t have the desire to remarry, the idea of any partnership might be appealing to her after divorce because it provides a bit of stability in a world where her finances aren’t so stable.
This idea of stability might be desirable enough to cause a woman to move on fairly quickly after her marriage comes to an end.
3. Religious or Social Pressure
Religious and/or social pressure play a crucial role in a woman’s desire to move on after a divorce.
Unfortunately, divorce isn’t always inevitable. Many marriages end due to substance abuse, domestic violence, and overall toxicity. 53% of women reported divorcing their previous partner due to psychological abuse.
However, divorce is often disapproved of by different religions.
Some organized religions tend to blame the woman– even if the divorce took place for the sake of her physical and/or mental wellbeing. In addition to blame, there’s often immense pressure to get remarried. I’ve witnessed this situation firsthand in three different divorce proceedings that took place in a religious setting.
Due to this pressure, women can often feel obligated to move on quickly to please cultural and social expectations. They may want to start new relationships with the intent of remarrying and meeting these expectations to avoid being scrutinized or harassed.
Unfortunately, this pressure isn’t exclusive to religious scenarios as it can often be socially rooted instead. Seeing other examples of successful marriages in the media and different social situations might cause an increase in a woman’s desire to move on.
This desire to people-please for the sake of easing pressure can be conscious or subconscious.
Ultimately, it all depends on a woman’s individual characteristics and circumstances. Every situation is unique, and everybody has their own way of dealing with traumatic situations.
If you think a woman is moving on too fast for your standards, it might be a good idea to take religious and/or social pressure into consideration before you make a judgment.
4. Stability for Children Involved
If children are involved in a divorce scenario, this can also contribute to a woman’s drive to move on.
While many women move on for the sake of their own emotional wellbeing, some would rather move on for the sake of their children. This is because divorce situations often make children feel vulnerable and at fault for the end of their parents’ relationship.
In some cases, they might feel obligated to fix the failed relationship.
Unfortunately, some divorces end with an absent parent. According to the United States Census, 20.2% of fathers are absent and no longer have a relationship with their children (if they had a relationship with them to begin with).
When a divorce causes a father to be less active in a child’s life, a woman may feel consciously or subconsciously obligated to move on in an attempt to fix a child’s pain and offer them stability– especially if their father is no longer an active parent.
A woman might be quick to move on after divorce to “fix” their family or provide their children with a new worldview that resembles their old family. According to statistics, 50% of US families are “blended families.” This means that these families involve remarriages and often include step-relations such as step-siblings, step-children, and step-parents.
Despite what many think, it’s possible to have a healthy family again through remarriage. The speed at which a woman moves on can be correlated to this concept if she desires to be a part of a “complete” family again.
However, it’s important to note that the “cookie-cutter” definition of family is often damaging. Family doesn’t have to fit societal roles and expectations. Family is what we make it; it can’t be defined by anyone but yourself. This means that a woman’s idea of family is ultimately her own.
While it isn’t necessary to remarry to have a happy family, it can be comforting for certain people. Again, every situation is unique, and it’s completely up to the people involved to decide how and when they want to move on after a divorce.
5. The Want for Companionship
The most straightforward reason behind a woman’s desire to quickly move on after a divorce is the want for companionship.
Humans have had relationships with each other for thousands of years.
We aren’t solitary creatures and we depend on each other for physical and emotional support, which is why we desire to have relationships in the first place.
Professionals suggest that we seek out relationships because we need social support. But after a divorce, a woman no longer has that same kind of companionship. She might want to find it elsewhere to combat the negative feelings that often accompany dissolved marriages.
In addition to seeking healing from the emotional damage that divorce can bring, a woman might simply be in search of a companion.
Someone to laugh with, someone to experience life with, someone to love. Life after divorce can be a lonely and heartbreaking experience, but these studies show that your life can actually be improved with a partner by your side.
While romantic relationships aren’t for everyone, they mean a lot to some people. It’s perfectly understandable and valid for a woman to move on quickly after divorce simply because she wants to be in a relationship with someone again.
Is It Okay To Move On Quickly After a Divorce?
If the goal is a new long-term relationship that is happy and stable, it is better to wait 12 months following the separation before dating or entering a serious relationship. Rebound relationships have a 77% failure rate.
But everyone copes and processes life-altering experiences in their own way.
There are no rules about when or how you should move on, and there isn’t a set time frame either. As long as you’re coping healthily, the approach can vary.
However, it’s important to remember that there are some elements you should keep in mind in order to move on healthily. You must take proper steps to address any emotional trauma by accepting and talking about your feelings.
It might be a good idea to seek the help of a licensed professional to help you talk through your emotions.
Can Divorce Be More Painful for Women?
Divorce can be more painful for women. According to recent research, women are more likely to feel intense emotional pain after a relationship ends. However, they’re also more likely to make a full recovery and claim that their experiences made them stronger.
In this study performed by Binghamton University, thousands of subjects in over 90 countries were asked to rate their breakup pain on a scale from one to 10.
It was determined that women have a higher chance of experiencing more pain after the end of a relationship– both physically and emotionally.
Why Is Divorce More Painful for Women?
Divorce can be more painful for women because they put more value into finding a stable partner for subconscious biological reasons, according to a recent study. But women are also more likely to struggle financially following a divorce.
Researchers at Binghamton claim that this is because relationships have a higher risk for women than men, biologically speaking.
Even short relationships can end in pregnancy, which can have long-lasting physical and psychological effects due to birth, the changes a woman’s body undergoes because of it, and the emotional toll of caring for a child. On the other hand, men have no biological involvement after conception.
To put things simply, this biological reasoning might say something about the way women value relationships both subconsciously and consciously.
Women may feel more strongly about finding a suitably supportive partner, making things more painful when a marriage is dissolved– with or without children involved.
The pain that women experience after the end of a relationship can actually make them emotionally stronger, while men often tend to move on without addressing their grief. Because of this, it may seem like women can move on faster than men.
Statistics show that women tend to move on faster than men after divorce.
While subconscious biological reasoning may have something to do with this, women may also move on faster due to the want for a coping mechanism, potential financial security, religious or social pressure, the urge to create stability for their children, or the desire to have a companion by their side.
However, every situation is different and every woman is unique. It’s important to keep this in mind before jumping to negative conclusions about people who are coping with divorce.