35 Troubling Signs Your Marriage is Over: How to Really Tell

When people go into marriage, they believe in having found the one person for them. While marriage comes with its lows and highs, sometimes the damage goes too deep to fix. So, here’s how to tell when your marriage is really over:

  1. A lack of communication
  2. Little to no interest in sex
  3. Apathy towards each other
  4. Starting to live separate lives
  5. Separate life goals
  6. Feeling emotionally drained

But those are only a few of the possible signs. So in this article, we’ll review the 35 most troubling signs that your marriage is over. I feel your pain and I know firsthand what it’s like being in a troubled relationship.

It is good to fight for your love, but sometimes it is not worth it.

Marriages do not end overnight, but a gradual rot in the foundation that spreads until everything collapses. Most couples cannot identify warning signs in their relationship until the situation is unamendable.

Are you married but feeling disconnected from your partner? It is safe to assume you have reached the end of your voyage together.

tell when marriage over lg

Now let’s review my . . . 

35 Troubling Signs Your Marriage is Over

1. Lack of communication

One of the signs that your marriage is really over is when you notice a lack of communication.

Many couples visit their family therapist to help them develop better communication. Sometimes, the quantity of the conversation is more important than the quality.

A marriage where the couple cannot initiate or maintain conversation for more than a few minutes is already dying.

Also, when you notice your partner has no interest in speaking to you, there is a problem. In other cases, you realize you talk for a long time, and your partner only gives a one-word response or a grunt.

2. Disinterest in sex

Physical intimacy is a component of a healthy relationship.

Sex is essential in marriage because it helps to reestablish emotional intimacy. It is normal for the frequency of sex to reduce over time due to other commitments.

However, this is a red flag when you initiate sex but your partner shows disinterest. It may begin with complaints like they are tired or have to wake up early.

Additionally, when couples do not have sex for a long time, they may seek pleasure elsewhere. And this may just be the catalyst for the end of your marriage.

3. Unfixable issues

Every marriage goes through one rough patch or the other.

These problems can be solved, and the marriage goes on. However, physical abuse, emotional abuse, and cheating are potent ingredients for an unhappy marriage.

Other issues that can cause marital problems are substance abuse and contrasting opinions and goals. It takes two willing individuals to make a relationship work.

Therefore, it may not matter if you subject yourself to your partners’ unhealthy behaviors. At the end of the day, you have to let go for your sanity and peace of mind.

4. Apathy in the home

A little argument can be good for the home.

However, apathy is a clear sign that the marriage is sinking. When married couples fight, they usually talk it over to resolve the issue. Afterward, they have makeup sex, which often feels better than regular sex.

However, when there is no fighting, the marriage has degenerated from companionship to simply living together. While fighting can be good, it becomes a red flag if it is too often and for unreasonable purposes.

For example, fighting over not replying to a text early or smiling at another person.

5. No more mutual interests

One of the things that bring people together is mutual interests.

However, the interest may begin to differ after some years. Lack of mutual interest may also be when married couples no longer discuss their future or have contrasting plans for their future.

The main point is that married couples should enjoy doing some things together. Making all your plans alone, which your spouse does not care about, is a clear sign that you need an exit strategy.

6. No attraction

A long-term relationship like marriage requires emotional intimacy.

Married couples should enjoy spending time together. When there is a drastic change in positive interactions, this is a warning sign. Marital problems arise when your spouse is no longer your friend and go-to person.

One of the signs of a troubled marriage is a lack of emotional bond. You become strangers living in the same house. Most likely, the only time you can bear to be around each other is in the presence of the kids. When this emotional bond can no longer hold the marriage together, the marriage is over.

7. Distrust

Trust is the foundation of good marital relationships.

Lack of trust among couples is a clear sign of a troubled marriage. Cheating and lying are factors that may destroy trust in a marriage.

A cheating partner has to work hard to earn their spouse’s trust. On the other hand, the spouse has to decide if they can look past the mistake.

If they can, they can both work on rebuilding a healthy marriage. However, if cheating or lying becomes consistent, you may need to find an exit strategy.

Your spouse is no longer committed to the marriage.

8. Desire to be free

At first, you loved your ring and belonging to someone.

But now, you feel like a caged bird waiting for an opportunity to take to the skies. A clear sign of marital problems is a desire to be single. Suppose you catch yourself often thinking of how much fun you used to have when you were single.

When someone begins to long for their old life, they make mistakes that could end the marriage. Your spouse will not be contented with anything you do (especially sex) when they are fixated on their wild days.

9. Your goals no longer include your spouse

Married couples in a healthy relationship make plans together and adjust to suit the family.

When your spouse has dreams that do not include you, it may be the end of your marriage. For example, your spouse takes a decision that will cause a drastic change in the family dynamics.

Suppose they pursue and secure a job in another country without discussing it with you. This is their way of escaping from the marriage. When your spouse does things without consideration for you, you better watch out.

10. You are unhappy

Divorce may be looming when you are in an unhappy relationship.

The disappearance of happiness does not occur suddenly. When you sit back to reminisce, you realize that you have been sad for several years. If you compare how much happier you were with an ex-lover, that is a red flag.

The source of unhappiness may be because you are content with the home’s drastic change. When one person is unhappy, it is best to seek professional help.

If left unresolved, it may lead to cheating which may be the final nail in the coffin of the marriage.

11. You are growing apart

Young love can be so consuming.

There was once a time your partner could give you the world. It is usual for the intensity of the passion to decline over time. You have your career and children to take up your time. Growth is essential in marriage, but it is best to grow together.

When this is not the case, your marriage may be beyond saving because you have become two very different individuals.

12. Your spouse excludes you from their social plans

Married couples may not have time for social activities during weekdays because of work.

However, the weekend is an opportunity to recharge and spend time with loved ones. It is great to spend time together with family members and friends.

When you notice your spouse does not include you in their social plans, that is a warning sign. It may be that they are using these activities to get away from you. Your marriage may be over if your spouse can’t stand being with you.

13. You are only together because of the kids

Is staying in an unhealthy relationship because of the kids a solution?

You can read a recent article that covers all the details. You would be surprised at how many people are enduring a bad marriage for the sake of their kids. But do those marriages ever come back from that?

Just click that link to read it on my site.

Suppose you are scared for yourself or your kids, and this is your incentive to stay. Marriage is more than procreation, it’s also about companionship.

In cases where the only time you have a decent conversation is concerning the children, your marriage is already over because your spouse may be emotionally or physically involved with another person.

14. Talking to your spouse makes you feel drained

Arguments are not the only sign of trouble in the house.

A married couple should enjoy talking and spending time together. Couples could have healthy banter to have fun. However, you are in a bad marriage if it leaves you utterly drained and frustrated. It could be that your partner is constantly complaining and never appreciates you.

As a result, you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally drained.

A warning sign is when you feel enormous anxiety when talking to them. You know that your marriage is heading towards failure at the end of the day.

15. You don’t mind your spouse with someone else

You love your friends, but you are in love with your spouse.

Your marriage may end when you are no longer in love with them. The love you have for your friends is different because you don’t mind seeing them with other people. A clear sign of a failing marital relationship is being comfortable with your spouse being with them.

When your spouse is on this level, they do not hate you. Instead, they wish to see you grow and be happy. However, they can’t picture that vision with them in it.

16. No interest in fixing the marriage

It is not unusual for your marriage to experience a rough patch. In a healthy marriage, couples talk and go through problems as a family.

Sometimes couples forget the lows and think that the high was all they have ever known. However, if your partner focused on picking on the lows, they may have checked out of the marriage.

Fixing a marriage requires both parties’ hard work, commitment, and dedication. You may be the only one putting in efforts to make the relationship better. This is a red flag that you are alone in the marriage.

17. Refusal to seek help

Marriage is a commitment between two people willing to ride the storms together. It is not uncommon for marriages to face challenges, irrespective of the duration.

There are better chances that the marriage will survive when both individuals want to improve it. Alternatively, only one person fighting for the home may be unhealthy.

Therefore, if your partner is unwilling to speak to a relationship expert, your marriage may end. In addition,

18. Therapy is not working

Therapy is a good option when there are issues within the marriage.

However, therapy is not a promise that you can save the marriage. It may be time to move on when marriage counseling is not having significant positive effects. Sometimes, all the talking increases frustration and resentment. When you and your spouse cannot get along after many hours of therapy, it may be a sign that your marriage is ending.

19. Refusal to compromise

Compromise is finding the middle ground during an argument or conflict. It is an essential factor that can hold a long-term relationship together.

However, if your spouse is persistently unwilling to compromise, that is a clear sign your marriage is on edge.

Compromise ensures both parties are satisfied. The couple meets in the middle to create a balance in their marital relationship. Refusal to compromise may be a sign of selfishness. It may also be a sign they don’t care or respect you in the relationship.

20. Divorce seems like an appealing choice

Many people who go into marriage do not have divorce as their goal. In a healthy relationship, fights bring couples closer.

However, when your spouse suggests divorce after every fight.

This is a sign that something is wrong in the relationship. At this stage, anything you do is annoying to them, and they are always telling you what a better life they would have without you.

Once the person feels divorce is the solution, your marriage is really over.

21. Criticism of your family members and friends

In a healthy relationship, both parties accept the other’s friends and family. You may not necessarily like them, but you are polite to them. Watch out when your spouse begins to nag about your family and friends.

It is unacceptable behavior and an indirect way to insult you. They are likely looking for an avenue to argue because you will defend them.

As a result, your spouse gets angry and stays out late or sleeps in the guest room. These are warning signs that they may have lost interest in the marriage.

22. You can’t tell them your problems

Your partner should be your best friend.

We are all humans and need some emotional support. An issue taking a toll on your mental or emotional health requires you to talk to someone.

When dealing with the matter, your partner should be the first person you can talk to. A red flag is when you can’t speak to your spouse about your problems.

As a result, you rely on others for support. When your partner does not listen or take your issues seriously, it indicates something is missing from the marriage.

23. They prefer to spend time with others

When people are in love, they enjoy spending time together.

Although some time apart with friends or for personal growth is good, in this case, the couples always look forward to seeing each other again. However, couples may begin to spend more time apart than together.

Some individuals in an unhappy relationship may seek a distraction from facing reality. When you and your spouse become “housemates”, it may signal the end of your marriage. This is because you have become strangers emotionally.

24. Persistent argument

Married couples who are growing apart show a lack of patience.

When you notice your spouse keeps digging up old issues, they may be emotionally detached. For example, something waved off or laughed over becomes a source of argument.

Additionally, when your spouse takes every opportunity to argue, your arguments become consistent. Consequently, you fight every minute you are together, further pushing both of you apart.

A warning sign may be when your partner refuses to settle for peace but conflicts despite your best efforts.

25. No more respect

The core of a healthy marriage is respect.

As humans, we may have varying opinions on some issues. You may not always agree with your spouse’s choices, which is fine. However, couples need to respect each other’s decisions and not undermine the other person.

When your spouse disrespects your choices and decisions, your marriage is ruined.

For example, you tell the kids to go to bed. Then, your spouse encourages them to get more TV time. This shows a lack of respect and can lead to arguments that can lead to separation.

26. Refusal to listen to advice

Some married couples may not need to see a marriage counselor for their marital issues.

As a result, they may seek the advice of older couples, family, and friends. They may have great ideas on how to resolve family issues.

Suppose your family and friends are actively seeking solutions to your marital problems. Your partner may be unwilling to hear what they have to say or heed their advice. This is a warning sign that the marriage is over and your partner has no interest in working things out.

27. They stop caring about you

When your spouse stops caring about you, they must have emotionally left the relationship.

You can tell when conversations become monotonous or have to force it. For example, you only talk about the kids or getting the car fixed. In a healthy relationship, couples talk about work and personal issues.

When you try to talk about your partner, but they seem disinterested, it may be they no longer care about sharing their life with you. Signs that your partner is emotionally withdrawn are when they don’t pay attention to you or give a sentence response.

28. Fantasizing about having an affair

When you start having consistent sexual thoughts about someone else, you may need to consider the stability of your marriage.

For example, if your spouse is spacing out during sex, they may be thinking of someone else. Thinking of having sex with someone else could negatively affect intimacy. This could lead to cheating.

The bottom line is when you notice your spouse is persistently fantasizing about someone else, it is a warning sign.

29. Feelings of disappointment

Your spouse should be your number one fan cheering you during good times.

Also, they should be a place of comfort when you face a challenge. This way, you are loving and supporting each other. A warning sign is when they begin to emphasize your flaws. You may also realize that nothing you do is ever good enough.

Consequently, you may fall into the horrible pattern of always trying to please them. At the end of the day, you struggle to fulfill their unrealistic requirements. Remember, no one is perfect, and our imperfections make us unique.

 30. No emotional connection

In a healthy marriage, the couples are lovers as well as friends.

Romance is a significant factor that keeps the home. However, couples should be able to have fun outside the bedroom.

They should have an emotional intimacy that can make the relationship survive distance and other challenges. While sex and romance are great, they may become boring or routine without an emotional connection.

If your spouse feels awkward hanging out with you as friends, your marriage may be on the brink of collapse. As a result, they cannot do things that resonate with your emotions.

31. You are feeling lonely

Little things like feeling ignored can be a catalyst that can ruin a marriage.

A couple may need to be in different countries or states for a while for a job. They may not feel lonely because they keep up communication.

However, when you and your spouse start living like roommates instead of lovers, it creates a gap in emotional intimacy. Some people become too engrossed with their jobs that their partner feels lonely. You can talk to your partner about this.

If they are not making any efforts, then maybe the marriage is already over.

32. You can’t stand being with each other

Being in love is a beautiful feeling.

You always want to be with the person, establish physical intimacy, and have positive interactions. There is an unexplainable excitement that comes with being with your partner. It is normal for the excitement to dwindle after years of marriage.

However, it is not normal to dread the thoughts of being with your spouse.

For example, if your spouse intentionally comes home very late from work or looks for excuses to not be home during weekends, then your marriage may be a done deal.

33. Spending more time on social media

Flaunting your relationship on social media is good as it shows you are proud of your partner. However, have you considered that you are using social media to compensate for what is lacking in the relationship?

Many married couples are insecure.

Therefore, they feel a need to advertise how well they are doing so that people don’t get the wrong ideas. Also, you may enjoy talking to strangers on social media more than you do with your spouse.

This is because you may simply be projecting your deepest wishes. Next time you post a picture, ask yourself if the marriage is as happy as on camera.

34. Anger is always present

Anger is an emotion that is common to everyone.

It is normal to get angry at your spouse, kids, or family. One of the red flags to look out for is a lingering feeling of anger toward your spouse.

Also, if you notice your spouse is constantly snapping at you for the slightest reason, they may be angry at you. Unresolved anger can break the bonds of marriage as it leads to frustration.

Anger may progress into domestic violence and emotional abuse. At this stage, the first thing to do is seek an exit strategy. Seek help from your family or lawyer to get safe accommodation for you and the kids.

35. You (or they) are having an emotional affair

Many people believe cheating is only about having physical intimacy with another person. They could not be more wrong.

When a marriage lacks emotional intimacy, one partner may seek an emotional connection elsewhere.

This other person becomes who they look forward to talking to about everything in their life. Having an emotional affair is being emotionally attached to someone else, maybe an ex-lover.

They often have no intention of having sex with their spouse but with that person who makes them laugh. Over time, they hang out together and further neglect the health of their marriage.


A relationship may not be able to work if you notice most of the signs mentioned above in your marriage.

Separation may be the best option.

Staying with someone who does not make you feel happy or safe is bad for your mental health. The earlier you realize your marriage is over, the earlier you can move on with your life.

But when a couple does divorce and moves on, is life generally better?

You can read a recent article that explores life after divorce. Divorce is not the end of life. But there’s 1 crucial thing over 40% of couples do that ends up making their lives worse for years to come.

Just click that link to read it on my site.

Image by 849356 from Pixabay

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