How to Make Your Wife Want You Back – 25 Crucial Steps

Written by Jeff Campbell in Reconciliation Last Updated December 29, 2023

Marriage can be a beautiful thing. But it is not always about the good times but the difficult times as well. Sometimes a married couple will drift apart. And for husbands going through a separation, here’s how to make your wife want you back.

  1. Be the best version of you that you can be
  2. Be willing to work hard 
  3. Identify (but don’t dwell) on the core issue
  4. Give her space to miss you 
  5. Keep your emotions in check
  6. Communicate clearly
  7. Be patient
  8. Don’t beg or plead

But those are just a few of the 25 crucial steps you need to take.

So, in this article, don’t worry. We’ll review all of them in great detail. That way, if anything will work to bring her back, this will. Then you can get on LIVING your life instead of wondering what could have been.

Many people often do not realize the space their spouse fills in their lives.

This only becomes obvious after a separation. Sometimes, the separation may be mutual or because of a disagreement. Either way, you do not want to live the rest of your life regretting that you did nothing to make your wife fall back in love with you. So, you wonder what things you could do to make your wife want you back.

This article will cover tips to make your wife want you back successfully. Let us dive in:

make wife want u back lg

1. Be the best version of you that you can be

It would be best to ponder what you did or said wrong.

Often, it is what you did not say that causes the controversy. Something must have changed that prompted a separation or divorce between you and your wife. Your chances of getting her back are further reduced if you do not know what you did wrong- nothing vexes women more than this.

Therefore, it is better to work on yourself to become a better version that she can accept.

One mistake that men make is not taking care of themselves. Your wife will not want you back if you look or sound crazy. Therefore, take time to heal, and process your emotions. When you feel overwhelmed, you can get professional help.

Show some emotional maturity so that you don’t end up causing more harm and losing her forever.

2. Come to terms that you need to work twice as hard to get her back

Separation may occur due to the inability of married couples to meet eye to eye on various matters.

In addition, it may be because one party has fallen out of love. In some cases, the feelings are no longer as they used to be when the relationship started.

This does not happen overnight. Instead, it is a cumulative effect of behaviors, actions, and words.

Therefore, falling back in love with a level of trust will take some time too. You must be willing to work hard to get your lady to fall back in love with you. Trust takes a while to nurture but can collapse in a blink of an eye. The first thing is to realize you have to work hard to get back your diamond.

3. Find out what went wrong

In marriage, it takes two to make it work. Couples grow apart for various reasons.

For example, it was a ritual to go on a date at least once in 2 weeks. But all that has ended. If possible, you can speak to her friends or those she trusts. They may have lots to tell you that will help you get her back.

Do your homework before actively making moves to get her back. You should gather facts from reliable sources to help you strategize properly. If you do not know what went wrong in the first place, your efforts might be unproductive.

4. Be conscious of your emotions

It is easy to be overrun by emotions when you desperately want something.

However, learn to collect your thoughts and emotions. The mind is a powerful part of our existence, and it affects the way we speak, react, and behave. When too many emotions drive your words and actions, you may chase your wife far away.

Work on your emotions to clear your mind to have quality communication with your wife.

Think about what you will say and ensure they are the right things. Try to get your anger in check so that you don’t say something that ruins it all. Give yourself to the light that comes with positive emotions.

5. Some space is healthy for the relationship

One mistake some husbands make is following their wives around. Persistent chasing your wife around will only push her further away.

No one likes someone who seems needy, clingy, or desperate.

You will end up embarrassing her and yourself even more. The woman can file for a restraining order, making the whole thing messier.

Some may argue that distance makes the heart fonder.

Therefore, maybe the separation will allow you to reassess your feelings and commitment. Additionally, avoid being too desperate or aggressive in your approach. Give your wife the space she needs! She feels suffocated, and this will not make her want you back.

6. Avoid constant calls or texts

It is easy to get angry, frustrated, or sad when your wife doesn’t respond to calls or texts.

It may be hard initially to deal with the distance, but calmness can be very impressive in such situations. Remember that you cannot control your wife’s behavior or how she deals with the situation.

You are the only component of the equation that you can control.

Only call about two times. And if she does not pick up the phone, this is a clear sign that she may not be physically or emotionally prepared to speak with you. Give your wife space.

Leave a voicemail or text telling her you hope she calls you back soon. Ensure there is no sign of anger or frustration in your voice. A simple good morning or good night message will go a long way to make her think about you.

You can end the message with, “I miss you, please call me back.” This will let her know that she still has a place in your heart.

7. Ask her what she wants

One thing women hate is being taken for granted.

The next step after getting an audience is to ask her opinion. You can ask open-ended questions like: can you tell me what changes you want to see in our relationship?

Suppose the separation is due to a disagreement that was primarily your fault. You can ask her: what does it take for her to forgive you?

Also, assure her that you will spend the rest of your life making it up to her if that’s what it takes. Then, you stop talking and listen attentively to her. No matter how angry your wife is at you, this will give her something to think about.

Also, it may alleviate the thawing of the wall she built as a defense from you.

8. Communication

One problem in most relationships is poor communication skills.

Married couples think they can have sex amid an argument, which is the end of the issue. They could not be more wrong. Now that you are separated or divorced, the importance of communicating in clear words cannot be overemphasized. Gather your thoughts and wits and produce words that have meaning to both of you.

One of the best ways to win her back is to be liberal with your words, as they hold the power to sway the mind.

Tell her how much you love her and cannot see yourself living without her. Let her know you are willing to do whatever she wants to make the relationship work.

The good news is you are one step further once you establish open and honest communication.

9. Patience

When trying to get your wife back, patience is a virtue you should wear as an amour.

Do not expect an easy or smooth journey. If you are not patient, you may do or say something that may jeopardize the entire mission. She may be angry at you or unresponsive initially, but that should not deter you from doing what you ought to do.

If you are not patient, there is a good chance that you may never be able to get her to want you back. Do what you can, but also give her time to reflect on the sincerity of your actions.

10. Make sure she feels heard and understood

When you listen and oblige to the little things she says or does, it makes her feel appreciated.

One way to bring about positive changes in how your wife sees you is to make sure she feels heard and understood. Be a good listener.

Let your actions show that you understand her. One reason for the separation maybe because she thought you didn’t hear her. It is not unlikely that you may see something like the problem, but it is entirely something else that put her off.

When she is talking, don’t try to argue or cite instances where she did something similar. Instead, allow her to conclude and acknowledge your faults.

Above all, don’t try and FIX whatever is wrong (unless it’s something you did). Often women just want to vent. And we guys have a tendency to want to “fix” the problem. The end result is women often don’t feel like we’re really listening to them.

Remember to apologize even if you have done so before. However, let your apology be more than empty words. Make her a promise that you are resolved to handle things better in the future.

11. Suggest visiting a marriage counselor

Women are more open to conversations than men. So, when a man suggests marriage counseling, it assures the woman that he is serious about getting back together.

Couples who separate because of serious issues or misunderstandings may need to seek the help of a marriage counselor. The counselor will mediate the conversation and allow the couple to talk about relevant topics in the relationship that may have aided the separation.

Once she is on board with the idea, this is a good sign to put in more effort.

Many men do not like talking about their feelings, especially with a third-party present. It makes them vulnerable.

Women, on the other hand, are more expressive with words. Therefore, this stage is crucial as it brings hidden feelings to the surface. Getting professional help is an excellent opportunity to learn more about your wife and yourself.

12. Resist the urge to yell or fight

The process of getting your wife back is not without its challenges.

Sometimes she may say things that will offend you but does not exhibit any aggressive reactions. One of the worst things a man who wants to get his wife back can do is yell or use harsh words against her.

This will push her away from you.

The thought or sight of you will repulse her. Recovering from such a serious problem may require divine intervention.

She may not be really angry but unable to present her feelings properly. She is likely feeling scared, suffocated, alone, or sad. Listen to her, validate her feelings, and make her believe you will do better for the relationship.

When she is yelling at you or being defensive, do not go being a macho man and do crazy things. Even happy marriages have arguments. But it’s HOW they argue that makes all the difference.

13. Nurture the love

The best way to get your wife back is to nurture the love.

One of the many reasons many marriages collapse is that couples do not fan the flames. Keeping the fire burning is essential to maintaining the relationship. Living with someone for five or ten years can become boring if there is nothing new to keep the interest.

Now that you are separated or divorced, you have to let her know there is more you can offer.

We would all agree that the energy in a relationship gradually declines after marriage, mostly due to negligence. It helps if you understand her love language to make her happy.

So, if you want your wife to come back to you, show the kind of energy and enthusiasm that got her interested in the first place. If she seems appreciative or reciprocates, those are positive signs.

14. Get her to spend time with you

Depending on what caused the separation, this might be tricky if it was a disagreeable situation where both parties held a grudge. When two bitter people spend time together, it will be counterproductive.

It would be best to work on apology and forgiveness first.

Marriage is like a car that requires maintenance to keep it in good shape. This can be in doing something special for or with her.

Make her laugh and happy when you are together. This way, she cherishes the time spent. The quantity of the time does not matter but quantity. Even if you have only 30 minutes in a week, make the most of it.

However, suppose the separation was mutual, and you decided to remain friends. It is a great strategy to spend quality time with her. Go with the flow and do not force anything. Slowly, she’ll become comfortable with you, and you guys will fall into a smooth routine.

This is your best bet for turning things around.

15. Address her by a pet name

One of the ways to promote fondness is to avoid calling your wife “hey” or just her first name.

When couples start to grow apart, subtle changes like calling each other names may signify that something is wrong. For example, “babe, can you get the kids today?” compared to “hey can you get the kids today?”

The latter is like a conversation you would have with your guys.

Remember how you called your wife by pet names when you first met? It may be her name but a special version coined by you. Now that you are trying to win her back, address her by a sweet name you have for her.

16. Love yourself

You may wonder about the correlation between loving yourself and getting your wife back. First, you cannot give what you do not have.

So, you need to have a sense of satisfaction with yourself and be the best version of yourself if there is any hope of winning her back. Loving yourself can be many things.

For example, you can take better care of your appearance and diet and practice gratitude.

When you find ways to make yourself a better husband, it radiates a positive light around you that attracts positive things. Taking care of yourself fills you with new energy and hope that you need to rekindle the fire of your relationship.

17. Spice up the relationship

Now, remember we have said to allow things to flow naturally.

It is important that she has lots of fun during the day. You can organize a surprise trip to one of her favorite places that she has not visited in a long time.

Afterward, you can set up a candlelight dinner with roses and lavender to boost the romantic atmosphere. Pop some champagne or exotic wine that will appeal to her senses. Compliment her throughout the evening; this will make her smile more and feel mushy.

When you do this a couple of times in unique ways, there is a good chance that you both will have sex. Pay attention to her body such that all she can think about is your hands on her skin.

It could be a trip to one of her favorite places that she has not had the time to visit.

18. Consistency

Getting your wife back after she leaves you requires consistency.

You cannot expect to see changes overnight. Even if she were still madly in love with you, it wouldn’t work. She has to see that your efforts are consistent. For example, you make her laugh today and tomorrow. But then you make her sad.

This is the kind of inconsistency that will push her away. Instead, you can choose to send flowers once or twice a week without fail.

There are times when she may not want to see you.

Do not lose hope. Instead, go through with your plans consistently. When she sees the effort you put into her, her perception of you will improve. It takes a lot to make marriage work.

And a lot of men will say anything to get their wife to change their mind. But only a few will turn those words into consistent action.

19. Recreate your best memories

In an attempt to win your wife back, you can recreate good memories.

For example, suppose you had your first kiss someplace. You can take her there to refresh her memory of the beautiful love you once shared. It could be her favorite restaurant during courtship that you have not visited in a long time.

Recreating good memories softens your wife’s heart towards you.

If you play your cards well, she will want you back in no time. Additionally, you can search social media for romantic places to have a good time with your wife.

20. Respect your wife

In trying to win your wife back, accord her due respect.

Pay heed to her needs. For example, if she says she does not want to talk, do not force her. Let her know you respect her wish, and you will come back later.

In addition, when you are among friends, avoid speaking negatively about your wife. Suppose you have kids, and they ask about their mom.

Don’t say things like: “your mother is a stubborn woman. Let her be!” Instead, you can say: “mommy wants some time to do some things, but she will be back soon, and she loves you so much.”

Speaking poorly about your wife will have consequences that will not improve the relationship. Many couples tend to stay together because of their kids.

But how many stay together just for the kids? And do their marriages ever get better?

You can read a recent article where I cover all the statistics on that. What really surprised me was how many couples actually eventually end up divorced anyway.

Just click that link to read it on my site.

21. Stay true to yourself

We have mentioned in this guide the significance of working on yourself.

Also, these changes need to be evident in your life. They can be the foundation of rectifying the mistakes that caused the marriage to break down.

However, when doing all of these, BE YOU. It is easy to lose oneself because you want to bring forth the change. This is a classic example of “fake it until you make it.”

According to Suzy Kassem, “Stay true to yourself. An original is worth more than a copy.”

You need to stay true to yourself is a good thing. However, it will backfire if you keep making unrealistic changes. It will be challenging to keep up with these “fake changes when she eventually comes back to you.”

Consequently, the marriage breaks down again, and this time, there may be no coming back from it.

22. Let the past stay where it belongs.

When separation or divorce happens, there is bound to be some drama.

However, get past those issues. When trying to get your woman back, avoid bringing up ugly events from the past. Additionally, stop nursing them in your mind because they will interfere with making your wife fall back in love with you.

“Yesterday is history, today is a gift, and tomorrow is a mystery.”

One pitfall that men ought to avoid is using past events to blackmail the woman into coming back emotionally. It has a contrary effect in reality. The woman may feel sad, overwhelmed, or controlled, making her lash out.

So, let the past stay where it belongs and work to get the woman of your dreams.

23. Do away with pride

Pride is one of the worst things that can break a marriage.

As a man, you need to let go of your pride if you want to win back the woman you love. Pride makes you take decisions that will only make her unwilling to reconcile.

“It is better to lose your pride with someone you love rather than lose that someone you love with your useless pride.”

There is no place for pride in love. Love can endure many things without feeling aggrieved, but pride will not. So, if you are a person with pride as big as Mount Everest, you are in for a disappointment.

Therefore, ask yourself: are you willing to keep your pride at the expense of your love?

24. Avoid being a green monster

Jealousy is a healthy aspect of a healthy relationship.

When you and your wife are separated, jealousy is a potent ingredient for disaster. It is normal to have unpleasant emotions when you see other men looking at your wife. However, this is a reminder that she owns your heart.

Suppose you go out and you see her with another man. Don’t react badly. Instead, keep your cool and act responsibly.

“Jealousy is a strong emotion that can break any strong relationship.” Therefore, if you allow that emotion to get the best of you at that moment, whatever positive changes have occurred in the relationship will go down the drain. Keep your jealousy in check.

25. Don’t be a quitter

There are times when the situation may seem bleak.

In some cases, you may feel like you both have gone two steps forward only to go back one step. Making an effort to win your wife’s heart is better than living a sad, lonely, and miserable life.

Do all you can to get back your love before someone snatches her away.

Women tend to move on a lot faster than guys. How fast? And why is that? You can read a recent article I wrote that covers just that. What really surprised me was how much faster they really do jump into the next relationship before guys do.

Just click that link to read it on my site.

There are always hindrances in love, but the important thing is never to give up. Separation may be healthy in some cases but do whatever it takes to show her your commitment. If you have already lost hope in your heart, it will reflect in your actions.

Women have a penchant for knowing when their men do things half-heartedly. Therefore, the only thing to do is keep up hope and encourage yourself. In good time, you will win her back.

Getting Your Ex Back: Using the Law of Attraction to Reignite Your Relationship

Conclusion

Finally, making your wife want you back will not happen overnight.

Therefore, you need to put in the work. It may seem difficult, but as the saying goes, “where there is a will, there is a way.” However, you mustn’t lose yourself. Your mental, emotional, physical, and psychological health is important.

Let your words match your actions, and you are on your way to getting your wife back!

The first step is establishing a friendly relationship, especially for the kids’ sake. But how friendly should exes be? And is there such a thing as exes being too close?

You can read a recent article that talks more about it. I get into all the pros and cons, including the staggering statistics on how often exes who are friendly end up hooking up.

Just click that link to read it on my site.

Image by S. Hermann & F. Richter from Pixabay

Top Related Posts