Going through a divorce can be a challenging, painful experience for everyone involved. We all know rebounds notoriously don’t last, but it can be nice to feel wanted again after a breakup. So do most people stay single after divorce?
Most people don’t stay single after divorce. Nearly 80% of divorcees end up marrying again. And 6% of those people end up remarrying the same person they divorced. But women often tend to line up a replacement relationship before the marriage has even ended.
Of course, how quickly someone moves on or remarries again depends on various factors, including life circumstances.
Most people who get married don’t anticipate it ending this way, and it’s hard to see what life will be like post-divorce.
The rest of this article will discuss divorce statistics, why people choose to divorce, how long one should stay single after separation, and the benefits of either staying single or remarrying after a divorce is finalized. Keep reading.
The US Has the 6th Highest Divorce Rate in the World
About 45% of all marriages in the United States end in divorce. This is the sixth-highest divorce rate in the entire world. It should be noted that this rate is actually a record low for the US- dropping from a previous 50%!
When it comes to remarrying after divorce, about 80% of divorced people will eventually remarry. Statistics show that most remarriages happen within the first five years after a divorce. However, the more marriages you’ve had, the higher the rate of divorce increases. Check out the statistics below:
- 45% of 1st marriages end in divorce.
- 60% of second marriages end in divorce.
- 73% of third marriages end in divorce.
Why Do People Choose To Divorce?
With so many marriages ending in breakups, one must wonder, what are the common reasons people choose to divorce?
People choose to divorce because their marriages may have suffered from poor communication, financial struggles, infidelity, religious differences, or a lack of commitment.
Let’s take a closer look at some of these common motives for divorce.
1. Poor Communication Is One of the Main Reasons People Divorce
Noted as one of the top reasons couples get divorced, lack of communication can be highly detrimental to marriage’s health.
Not communicating enough or communicating in unhealthy ways can cause misunderstanding, arguing, fighting, and mistrust between partners. Many other divorce-causing factors can enter the marriage more easily when you’re communicating poorly.
2. Couples Divorce When They Can’t Overcome Their Financial Struggles
If you and your partner don’t see eye-to-eye when it comes to your money and how it should be spent, it can put a tremendous amount of stress on your relationship. Every trip to the grocery store, the coffee drive-thru, or even the gas station can become a cause for conflict.
Eventually, all of this frustration builds up and can be the catalyst for the dissolution of your marriage.
3. Many Couples Can’t Look Past Infidelity
Unfortunately, infidelity is another prevalent cause of divorce in the US. While some people choose to reconcile their differences and move forward after infidelity, many don’t. The American Psychological Association claims that 20 to 40% of all divorces in the US are caused by infidelity.
4. Religious Differences Make It Hard for Couples To Stay United
Religion is one of the most important factors when choosing a partner. If you have strong faith and your partner is an atheist, can your marriage survive? Research suggests that couples in an interfaith relationship have higher divorce rates than those who share the same religious views.
5. There’s Lack of Commitment Toward the Marriage
Commitment issues are common and often caused by fear. Maybe you have unresolved trauma from childhood or have been burned from a bad breakup in the past. Many things cause fear of commitment, but it can be a recipe for disaster when you enter a marriage without resolving these fears.
How Long Should You Stay Single After Divorce?
Are you trying to decide whether or not you’re ready to date after divorce? It can be tough to navigate post-divorce dating life, but the answer is it’s really up to you.
Consider staying single for at least one year after divorce. Waiting will give you plenty of time to evaluate who you are as a person, what you desire in a future partner, and what reasons you have for getting into a new relationship.
It’s important to consider that every person handles their emotions and processes divorce differently, and there really is no one-size-fits-all answer. One person may need several years to feel ready for new love, while another may be ready in a few months!
Am I Ready To Start Dating Again?
You’re ready to start dating again when you feel like seeing someone new and fall in love once again. Only you know for sure when you’re ready to put yourself out there again. Make sure you take it slow. There’s no need to rush.
1. Wait Until Your Divorce Is Finalized Before You Start Dating Again
It’s a good idea to wait until your divorce is completely finalized before wading back out into the dating pool. Beginning a new relationship when you’re still technically married to someone else (no matter how “single” you feel) can cause unnecessary issues and confusion between you and your new partner.
Waiting until your divorce is legally finalized will give your new relationship the best chance for success. In some cases, waiting can be hard, but it’s worth it in the long run.
2. Learn About Yourself and How You Feel After the Divorce
When going through the process of divorce, it’s normal to feel a whirlwind of emotion. Sometimes we spend so much time focusing on another person that we forget to spend much-needed time on ourselves.
Take some time to get to know yourself again. Get into a new routine and establish yourself as the person you want to be. Practice proper self-care and discover who you are on your own. Try a new hobby, join a club, make new friends! You can’t fill anyone else’s cup if yours is empty.
3. Determine What You Want From Your Future Partner
It takes time and experience to know what you truly need and desire in a life partner. Consider your non-negotiables. What are things you aren’t willing to compromise on?
What are you looking for regarding personal lifestyle, personality traits, political and religious views, family, occupation, etc.? It’s okay to take as much time as you need to figure out what kind of person you want to spend your life with.
4. Identify the Reasons You Have for Getting Into a New Relationship
Make sure that your reasons for jumping back into a relationship are healthy. If you’re seeking a connection to distract you from feelings of hurt or anger that you haven’t yet processed, it’s probably not the right time to start dating again.
There’s an old saying that says you can’t love someone else until you love yourself. Entering into a new relationship when you haven’t healed from the previous one will usually end in disaster.
To give your next relationship the best possible chance to bloom, make sure you’re ready to provide the same love you want to receive.
What Are the Benefits of Staying Single After Divorce?
After divorce, your approach to things will change as you learn to navigate life as an individual instead of a couple. You may find that you prefer this lifestyle and wish to keep it that way.
There are many benefits to staying single after divorce, should you decide that path is right for you.
Benefits of staying single after divorce are as follows:
- You can focus on your family.
- You’ll build stronger friendships.
- You have total control over your finance.
- You can learn more about yourself.
- You have the freedom to date casually.
1. It’s Easier To Focus on Your Family When You’re Single
When you’re single, you have more time and energy to invest in relationships with your family (and children, if you’re a parent!). The time you would’ve spent maintaining a partnership with your spouse can now be dedicated to building stronger connections with the other loves in your life- family!
2. Being Single Allows You To Build Stronger Friendships
Friendships often suffer because of unhealthy marriages. When you remain single after divorce, you can spend as much time as you want with your friends without feeling any spousal guilt.
One common reason spouses argue is that one partner doesn’t approve of a relationship with a particular friend. Staying single allows you to maintain friendships with whoever you want in your life, regardless of a previous partner’s opinion.
3. You Have More Control Over Your Finance When You’re Single
No more asking permission before spending your hard-earned money! Financial issues are one of the number one causes of divorce, probably because partners can’t see eye-to-eye when it comes to the budget.
When single, you’re entirely free to spend or save your money however you desire. Your finances are totally your own, and you don’t have to answer to anyone but yourself.
4. Your Single Life Gives You More Time To Learn About Yourself
Living a single life means spending a lot more time with yourself.
When you don’t have a partner to consult on life decisions, you discover a whole new way of living that’s entirely your own. You can make all of your decisions purely based on your desires. You’ll come to understand your likes, dislikes, and needs.
5. There’s Always Time for Casual Dating When You’re Single
Let’s be honest. Dating can be fun! When you choose to stay single, you can enjoy the casual dating world without any of the commitments. Just be sure to keep your intentions clear so that you don’t create any emotional collateral damage along the way.
What Are the Benefits of Remarrying After Divorce?
Remarrying after a divorce can be scary, but if done with the right intentions and after proper healing and self-care have taken place, it can be wonderfully successful.
The benefits of remarrying after divorce are as follows:
- Companionship
- Wisdom
- Mental health
- Physical health
- Financial security
You can enjoy a new, fun, and long-lasting partnership with the right person.
1. You Can Have a New Partner To Share Your Life With
Most people get married because they want to have someone to “do life” with. It’s natural to desire a partner to share life’s ups and downs, joys, and sorrows with. Choosing to get married again gives you a second chance at having that faithful companion to be there for you in sickness and in health.
2. You Can Get Into a New Relationship With More Wisdom
Chances are, you’ve learned a thing or two from your first marriage. If you spend enough time healing and getting to know yourself after your divorce, you might be better able to recognize your own flaws and identify what you really need in a partner.
By learning from your mistakes, you have an opportunity to choose the right partner and do things a bit differently this time around.
3. Remarrying Can Be Good for Your Mental Health
Multiple research studies show that married people have a lower risk of becoming depressed or developing substance abuse habits than single people. This is attributed to the fact that a married person is more likely to have a close support person to help them through difficult situations.
4. You’ll Have a Partner Who Can Watch Over Your Physical Health
Compared with single people, married people have been found to live longer lives and have a lower risk for serious health issues like strokes or heart attacks. They’re also more likely to have cancer diagnosed at an earlier stage, therefore making it more easily treatable.
When you’re in a relationship, someone else sees you every day and is directly affected by your physical health. They may encourage you to get seen by a doctor more frequently or identify something concerning your health that you may not have noticed had you been single.
5. Being Married Can Benefit You Financially
Typically, a two-income household makes more money than a single person. By remarrying, you and your partner may both be contributing to your financial security.
Additionally, married couples receive more tax benefits than single people. If you can work together to establish a healthy budget, your financial rewards could be exponential.
What is the Success Rate for Future Relationships After a Divorce?
With divorce rates hovering between 40-50%, it should be no surprise that for those who choose to get married a 2nd time, the divorce rates are even higher; upwards of 70%.
That being said, most women who divorce don’t remarry.
In fact, only about 3% of women who either divorced or who were widowed, choose to remarry. While men tended to remarry 58% of the time.
It’s also interesting to note that if you (or your spouse) mostly have friends who are divorced, the chances of getting divorced soar to 75% (source).
So as Jim Rohn says:
You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
So it pays to surround yourself mostly with people whose values and morals and lifestyle align with your own.
Does Social Pressure Impact Whether or Not People Stay Single After a Divorce?
Let’s be honest. Society likes people to be in a healthy relationship.
And there’s a stigma, especially against single mothers, but really across society as a whole when someone chooses to stay single.
And to make matters worse, a lot of people feel uncomfortable going to a restaurant by themselves or the movies.
Parents can also put pressure on us to meet new people, get on with our lives, and enter into a new committed relationship. That’s especially true if your mom wants grandkids and doesn’t have any yet.
So yes. Many of us who have gone through a divorce do feel a certain social stigma about finding the next great love of our life. We feel pressure, whether real or imagined, and that anxiety over trying to do what’s right in conjunction with meeting other people’s expectations of us can sometimes cause us to do dumb things.
Does Financial Stability Impact Whether Someone Stays Single After a Divorce?
Financial considerations definitely impact men’s and women’s decisions to enter into a new relationship after getting divorced.
Of course, most people aren’t making that their top consideration, but the lack of a support system, 2nd income, or the ability of a former spouse to handle the bills and budgeting does often leave many single women and single men feeling a bit lost.
Especially if the couple was married for a long time before getting divorced, this uncharted territory can seem overwhelming. And so finding a new romantic partner who can help with that can go a long way toward alleviating stress and anxiety.
And even if the first relationship following the divorce isn’t as deep and meaningful as the past relationship had been at one point in time, that feeling of security can be enough to offset the lack of a deep connection.
Conclusion
All things considered, there’s no right or wrong answer to deciding whether or not to stay single after divorce.
It’s clear that most people don’t stay single. Most of the time, people end up in a new marriage within five years after their divorce.
Only you can decide what is right for you. You may choose to stay single for now and change your mind later on down the road. Or maybe just join Tinder and have a little fun? You don’t have to (or want to) jump from one serious relationship to another and have no downtime for healing.
Whatever it is that you decide, there are benefits to both.
