Do Wives Ever Regret Divorce? (And What Happens if They Do)

It’s no secret that more women file for divorce than men. And often by the time a woman reaches that decision, all her romantic feelings are gone. But while divorce affects both partners, do wives ever regret divorce?

As a general rule, wives only regret leaving their husbands about 15% of the time. But they do feel regret about the negative impact on their children, financial challenges, and how it impacts the holidays and their social circle.

The regret might come immediately after the divorce or after struggling to move on after a few years.

And of course, since the courts often favor women in both custody and finances, the divorce may not be presenting that much of a challenge to a divorced wife.

Divorcing someone you’ve built emotional and economic ties with isn’t always straightforward. Both parties get affected, but do wives ever regret separation? Here’s an in-depth explanation of why wives regret divorce and what happens later.

You CAN save your relationship — even if you have already broken up.

I feel your pain and I know firsthand what it’s like being in a troubled marriage.

It can be devastating to both of you also. And that’s on top of the financial burden, the stigma, the emotional drain, and the feeling of all those wasted years.

The turning point in a marriage is when a couple hits rock bottom.

Luckily, all hope is NOT lost, and there is something you can do, even if your spouse seems reluctant or unsure. Mend the Marriage is a course developed by renowned marriage expert Brad Browning who has well over half a million subscribers on his YouTube channel.

This quote from Brenda R. perfectly sums up the quality work Mend the Marriage does:

“Brad Browning’s “Mend the Marriage” program is easily the most comprehensive and most effective guide to stopping divorce and saving your marriage. After reviewing a number of similar products, I recommend “Mend the Marriage” as the #1 choice for anyone facing a marriage crisis.”

Serious about saving or improving your relationship?

CLICK HERE to watch this free short video from Brad.

When Do Wives Not Regret Divorcing Their Husbands?

Wives might regret separation if they were overly reliant on the husband for finances, and support, or if they divorce was the result of the wife’s infidelity.

Wives don’t regret divorcing their husbands if they were in abusive marriages or their husbands were never around. Additionally, wives rarely regret leaving a husband who frequently cheated on his wife or who had addiction issues he was not willing to address.

The impact of divorce affects partners in varied ways.

Regret comes in when the divorce brings some inconveniences to the wife. 

Below are situations that might result in regret after divorce.

Negative Impact on Children Make Wives Regret Divorce

Children are one of the main reasons why wives regret the divorce. Though you may not notice it initially, children suffer so much when their parents go separate ways, as it negatively affects their physical and mental states.

Some of these effects include:

  • Children become more sensitive emotionally after the divorce. You may notice that after divorce, your child is more anxious, angry, withdrawn, and even confused. These mixed feelings come from the divorce since they don’t know how to act anymore.
  • Poor academic performance after the divorce. Kids may feel confused and distracted for sometimes trying to figure out what’s happening during your divorce. The distractions can, in return, affect their academic performance negatively since they don’t focus on school work.
  • Children get depressed whenever their parents separate. Your children’s mental health may not be stable after a nasty divorce. Separation from one parent can hit a child so much that it puts them into clinical depression. Other children may even attempt suicide, especially those from 11 years and up.
  • Children might indulge in risky behaviors after the divorce. If you don’t pay more attention to your children after divorce, some may indulge in risky activities such as sexual intercourse, alcohol, and drugs.

Watching children go through mental and social torture makes most wives regret getting a divorce.

Financial Constraints Can Make Wives Regret a Divorce

Before a divorce, most couples contribute towards the financial needs of their family. This practice isn’t always the case after divorce since each person goes their way. It can get too overwhelming for a woman if she’s left with the children since she solely has to cover all the household financial expenses.

Also, in most cases, wives’ income tends to be lower than that of their husbands. They, therefore, find it challenging to maintain the same financial status they had while married.

The Fear of Rejection and Loneliness Leads To Regret After a Divorce

After divorce, most women focus on providing financially and making their children happy, but in the process, they neglect themselves. 

It doesn’t take long before divorced women realize they’re lonely, without a partner to talk to after a long day at work. When walking out of marriage with children, women feel that they’ll never find love again. They fear that potential suitors will reject them, preferring younger women without kids.

Overall, loneliness and the fear of being rejected will make wives regret divorce, with others choosing to stay in the marriage even when they’re not happy.

What Happens When Wives Regret Divorce?

When wives regret divorce, they cry out, talk with friends and trusted family members, and feel angry that they never did much to protect their marriage. However, going back is never an option for most wives.

Staying in unhappy marriages does more harm to wives’ and children’s well-being than it does to husbands. It’s common to feel regret when going through a divorce process, which happens for many reasons.

Most wives, particularly mothers, will regret putting their children through divorce.

Others regret wasting their time staying in a marriage that showed signs of failing long ago, that they didn’t start the divorce process sooner. You could be angry about the many decisions you made in the past, but how you deal with your regrets now matter most.

Below are ways wives deal with divorce regret.

List All Of Your Divorce Regrets

The best therapy to deal with your regrets is to list all of them, which will help you see if they’re worth your time or not.

Some of them could be valid, and you may need to face them until your grieving period is over. However, you may realize that most of your regrets are things you can’t change, even if you had to go back in time.

Wives mostly regret ever getting married in the first place, staying for far too long in that marriage, and leaving work to focus on marriage.

From what you’ve written down, go through each point to see if there’s anything you could have done differently. If there’s, what difference would it have made? Doing so will help you take your regret positively, and soon it won’t bother you.

If your marriage failed, then check out this quick video on the 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage that will help get yours back.

Wives Soldier On After Regretting Divorce

Don’t let your regrets pin you down when you can go out there to do things for yourself and your children. Having a failed marriage can make you feel like a failure, making you appear weaker than you actually are.

Go through a self-awareness session to discover everything that makes you happy. You may come up with several, but only pick on a few that can help you forge ahead.

It isn’t good for your mental and physical health to keep looking back and living in regret. If you sacrificed your job for the marriage, now you have all the reasons to look for employment if only it’ll help you move forward.

Wives Might Go Back to Their Partners After a Divorce

Some wives also feel like they were either selfish or rushed things and now they’re regretting ever divorcing their husbands. If you belong to this group and feel that you made a mistake getting a divorce, you can try reconciling.

Although not all divorced couples reconcile and remarry, it can still happen. For a woman, bringing children to a new relationship/marriage usually doesn’t work, so they tend to go back rather than stay lonely.

What Wives Must Do Before Filing for a Divorce

The divorce process isn’t an easy one, and it can leave most women with a lot of stress, anxiety, and having to deal with uncertainties about how life will be after a divorce. It’s not as if husbands find it easy, but it becomes more stressful and challenging to wives, especially those that are already mothers.

Wives need proper preparation and understanding about the journey they’re about to embark on before deciding. Here are some divorce tips wives need to consider before filing for a divorce.

1. Get a Divorce Attorney To Offer Advice

You need to have a good representation before anything else. You’ll need to do thorough research on your attorney to determine whether they’re competent enough to provide the best legal advice. The attorney will tell you openly what your options are and what to expand throughout the legal process. 

You can even ask friends who have gone through the process to refer you to their lawyer.

You don’t need a family attorney for a divorce case but a marital one. Therefore, if you have a family lawyer, they can refer you to a knowledgeable matrimonial lawyer who can successfully take you through a divorce.

2. Assemble Financial Documents Before Getting a Divorce

All your financial documents will be helpful throughout the divorce process. So, you’ll need to gather them all and keep them in a safe place.

When your spouse knows that you’re planning to file for a divorce, he may try to jeopardize the process by hiding some documents. To be safe, when you’re still living together, consider making copies and giving them to your most trusted friends and family members.

Such documents include statements of your bank accounts, shared accounts, credit cards, home loans, auto loans, and retirement accounts.  Also, have all your tax return documents for the trial and court proceedings.

3. The Main Focus Should Be on Children

You’ve seen above how divorce can impact your children’s lives negatively. Take this time before filing the divorce to prepare them for your decision. While preparing them mentally for this new development, don’t involve them in your battles. 

It’s not fair to ask your kids to take sides because you may be disappointed.

Even after divorce, your spouse still needs to be present in his children’s lives, if he isn’t abusive or toxic. So, you two should plan how you’ll share your parental time with the kids.

Where you’ll stay after divorcing your spouse also matters at this stage. If you have school-going children, you may consider not leaving your family home, which may affect the kids’ schooling. 

You can at least stay there until they finish school.

Even though staying put in your marital home is necessary for your children’s wellbeing, it’s better to leave if you feel like your life is in danger. Talk to your attorney about this to get the best legal advice on the way forward.

If your marriage failed, then check out this quick video on the 7 Steps to Fixing Your Marriage that will help get yours back.

4. Change the Will and Medical Instructions After a Divorce

Perhaps you listed your husband as one of the beneficiaries of all your assets should you die before him. Now it’s the time to rectify that since you no longer want him to benefit from your properties if you die before the divorce is finalized.

But because of the elective share law, the courts may not allow you to disinherit your soon-to-be ex-husband completely.

He’ll only get part of it, not the entire property, and the children can get the rest. You can even consider redoing your will after the divorce to disinherit him completely, but prepare to incur more costs.

On the medical instructions, you wouldn’t want someone you’ll be divorcing soon to decide on your behalf if you fall ill. If so, you can change your medical directives and put someone you trust. It could be any of your family members or even your child if they are old enough to understand what’s happening.

5. Be Prepared Financially During a Divorce

Many husbands tend to be spiteful when the divorce trials start and will cut off any help financially to make you withdraw your pursuit for the divorce or just out of spite.

If you don’t have enough resources to last you through the process, you can talk to your attorney to intervene on your behalf. But to avoid all this unnecessary drama, it’s better that you become financially prepared before the start of the divorce.

Save at least some funds separately to cater to all your expenses within three months.

6. Build Up Your Credit

You may realize that all the credit cards you own have both your names. What will happen if your spouse decides to cut you off his credits after realizing you’re about to file for a divorce? 

It’s about time you built your credit in preparation for any eventuality in the future.

Once you obtain a credit card, ensure you use it occasionally. You should be in a position to pay off the balance after every month.

Doing so ensures you don’t get into debt but rather establish a good credit score.

7. Close or Have Joint Accounts Frozen After the Divorce

Again, your husband may run up more unnecessary charges on your joint accounts out of anger. As long as the joint credit accounts are still running, you automatically become responsible for the debts incurred.

To prevent this, you can approach your creditor to ask to close the joint accounts once you pay off the pending debt.

Another excellent option is to have them frozen if you’re not in a position to pay off the debt owed. Before doing so, ensure you let your creditor know that you’re going through a divorce. Doing this will also prevent you from using the accounts, but it’s better because it stops you from getting more into debt.

After the divorce, the court will decide who is responsible for the pending debt on your joint accounts. If it happens to be your ex-husband, even if he fails to pay it, at least you’ll stay happy knowing that the debt won’t affect your credit score.

If Women Enter a New Relationship Does That Make Them Regret Divorce More or Less?

As long as the new partner that the ex-wife now has wasn’t in the picture while she was still married to her ex-husband, she will be less likely to feel regret.

If she jumps into a committed relationship too soon, however, it might turn into a rebound and not last. The fresh start will feel good initially. And it will act as a distraction from the negative emotion. But burying the pain is not the same as processing and working through it.

So that’s why it’s always better to take your time and heal after a bad breakup. That way the next relationship isn’t being built on the complicated array of feelings that always follow the end of a relationship.

All that being said, if the marriage ended because the wife was having an affair with her new partner, that can eventually lead to a lot of feelings of regret.

What Is the Biggest Regret Women Have After a Divorce?

How Often Does Regret Lead a Woman to Reconcile With Her Ex-Husband?

In general, after separating but before divorcing, couples reconcile between 10-15% of the time. But once the divorce has actually been finalized, reconciliation numbers drop to about 6%.

So it is totally possible for a woman to regret divorcing her husband and want him back.

But the odds are not in your favor. Luckily, there are steps a man can take to make the possibility of reconciliation more likely. Here are the best things a man can do after getting divorced to win his wife back:

1. Find a good couples therapist

I know your ex-wife is unlikely to go. Now if she will that’s great. But I still think finding someone who specializes in marriage counseling will be better equipped to help you see your role in what went wrong and what you need to focus on.

The good news is that even if she doesn’t come back, you’ll be in far better shape the next time you find true love.

2. Identify what the real relationship problems were

All relationships take 2 people to make them work and 2 people to break them. So don’t kid yourself.

You contributed to the demise of the unhappy marriage. That doesn’t mean that maybe she did something even worse like cheating. But even cheating isn’t an actual problem in a marriage, but a symptom of a problem.

And that underlying problem took 2 people to create.

That in no way is meant to justify an affair; there is no excuse for cheating. But the cheating happened because things weren’t healthy in the marriage. The person who cheated just took the wrong path to address the fundamental problem.

3. Go no contact

Now, this is admittedly harder if you have kids together.

If you do, obviously communicate about the kids. But skip the small talk. Don’t initiate any texts that fall outside of the kids. Don’t stalk her social media pages. And most definitely don’t like or comment on them. And watch out for those Instagram stories; she can see you looked at it.

The purpose of no-contact is to make her wonder about you.

It evokes curiosity. And especially if you had previously been needy and clingy, she’ll wonder why you’re now being so distant. And anytime she’s wondering and thinking about you is a good thing!

4. Focus on being your best self

A big mistake men make when they get dumped is thinking that if they just told her how much he misses her and still loves her that surely she’ll see the error of her ways.

In truth, seeming desperate and off your masculine center is a total turnoff for women. Instead of begging and pleading to get her back (unattractive behaviors to be sure), just focus inward.

Focus on what is in your best interest and just being a good man.

Many of us stop going to the gym when we get into a long-term relationship. We put our friendships on the back burner and stop doing our hobbies.

In short, we stop doing all the things we were doing when she first fell in love with you. Is it any wonder she fell out of love?

So get back to doing the things that bring you joy.

Get back to working out, hanging out with friends, and engaging in your favorite hobbies. Go out on dates and enjoy life! If anything will persuade her to give you a second chance and question whether she made the right decision, it will be you looking and feeling great and living your best life.

Should You Take Your Ex Back After a Divorce?

Final Thoughts

Wives do regret divorce for various reasons illustrated in this article. But there are several ways to deal with their regrets and prepare well before filing for divorce to avoid regrets.

Ultimately it can be devasting for a perfectly good husband to lose their best friend

Instead of being busy finding fault, accept where you are at, and focus on what you can change in yourself. You can change her or anyone else.

But you can change ANYTHING about yourself. Get back to doing what brings you joy and what made you attractive to her in the first place.

You CAN save your relationship — even if you have already broken up.

I feel your pain and I know firsthand what it’s like being in a troubled marriage.

It can be devastating to both of you also. And that’s on top of the financial burden, the stigma, the emotional drain, and the feeling of all those wasted years.

The turning point in a marriage is when a couple hits rock bottom.

Luckily, all hope is NOT lost, and there is something you can do, even if your spouse seems reluctant or unsure. Mend the Marriage is a course developed by renowned marriage expert Brad Browning who has well over half a million subscribers on his YouTube channel.

This quote from Brenda R. perfectly sums up the quality work Mend the Marriage does:

“Brad Browning’s “Mend the Marriage” program is easily the most comprehensive and most effective guide to stopping divorce and saving your marriage. After reviewing a number of similar products, I recommend “Mend the Marriage” as the #1 choice for anyone facing a marriage crisis.”

Serious about saving or improving your relationship?

CLICK HERE to watch this free short video from Brad.

Jeff Campbell

Hi! I'm Jeff Campbell. I am a father and blogger and recently divorced. I love spending time with my 3 daughters and am still learning how to navigate life as a single dad and ex-husband; a life I didn't choose but have accepted.

Top Related Posts